


I'm Trying, are You?

by vayyyx



Category: Larry Stylinson - Fandom, One Direction (Band)
Genre: Anal Sex, Eating Disorders, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fingering, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Heartache, Love, M/M, Slash, Smut, True Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-02-05
Updated: 2013-07-29
Packaged: 2017-11-28 08:02:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 27,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/672111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vayyyx/pseuds/vayyyx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry had the tendency to talk fast, and ask whoever it may be to ‘have a bite, it’s delicious’ far to often Louis noticed, and when only looking away for a split second it seemed that more food is missing from his plate than humanly possible.</p>
<p>This could be deemed offensive by some, take caution.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Is it for real?

**Author's Note:**

> So I'm not really sure where I'm going with this as of now, but it came to me last night so well...here it is?  
> Tell me what you think? Comments/Kudos maybe? ♥

Harry had the tendency to talk fast, and ask whoever it may be to ‘have a bite, it’s delicious’ far to often Louis noticed, and when only looking away for a split second it seems that more food is missing from his plate than humanly possible. Louis hasn’t mentioned his observations vocally to anyone yet, assuming he’s wrong- it would be ‘for a lack of a better word’... Awkward. Louis has admitted his findings to his journal though. For the past month he writes down every night that he can just how Harry had reacted during a meal. The two have only been living together for just around three months and if Louis’ fairly recent notations are correct he wants to smack himself for not noticing sooner. He knows despite being right or wrong he needs to bring it up to Harry soon, his health could depend on it. 

\-----

“Hey babe, whatcha making?” Louis asks over his boyfriends shoulder, having much to his own dismay tiptoe up to see into the steaming wok. “It smells so good!” 

The whole kitchen was warm and inviting right then, not only by the ‘home-y touches’ Harry had added upon moving in but by the decadent smell that was being wafted into the air. The fresh veggies molding together the nicest of edible aromas that Louis’ mouth began to water. 

“Chicken Stir Fry for you and veggie for me.” Harry responded turing his attention from the cooking quickly to kiss Louis on the forehead before turning back to add in the noodles. 

That’s another thing Louis has noticed lately, Harry was becoming more often than not quite the vegetarian. Claiming that meat gave him an upset stomach for some odd reasons. 

“Oh, okay. Well I’m going to go wash up real quick before we eat.” Louis stated causally before tugging off to the toilets. He wasn’t going to mention or ask why Harry was only eating veggie- tonight he wanted to observe. He wanted to watch Harry eat without the chance of upsetting the younger of the two. Much like any biologist (which Louis was certainly not) he wanted to watch his specimen in it’s own environment. He was going to pay much attention to Harry’s behaviours tonight at dinner. Louis washed up and changed into a much more comfortable pair of sweats before returning to the kitchen. 

Harry was placing dinner down on the small table for the both of them just as Louis was walking in. Chuckling to himself absentmindedly from how domestic their relationship was looking right then. Harry went to UNI without a job, while Louis worked everyday but Sunday in one of London’s advertising companies. Louis specialized in graphic design having proved himself a short time ago worthy to an upper classed member of staff who graciously gave him a position that would surely ask for some sort of recognition in the graphic arts. Which Louis did not have, he just luckily had a very artistic bone in his body. He was not getting the big bucks for sure but he was going to be able to pay his half of the rent much more comfortably now. 

When taking his seat across from the curly haired lad he took note to the different sizes in their portions. Louis had a full cereal bowl of stir fry while Harry had about half that. 

“How was work today Lou?” Harry started after taking his first bite which was considerably large. 

“It was okay, that prat Doug is still giving me shit about never going to UNI or any accreditation program.” Louis sighed feeling momentarily worthless. He knew he should have gone to University got a degree and worked toward a career, but it didn’t happen like that and he was tired of nosey people bringing it up. 

“Aw baby, you know he is just jealous because you’re naturally talented and didn’t have to go into debit for it.” Harry comforted Louis under the table with his bare foot, rubbing it slowly up his shin. 

“Well that would have only added to my current debit Haz.” Laughing half heartily, “Remember I have a bit of credit card debit.” Louis understated. 

“Why won’t you just let me help you with that Lou? I mean it would be-” Louis wasn’t going to hear this...again. He has told Harry ‘no’ to his charity money a thousand times prior and tonight he wasn’t ready to go at it with him. 

“Harry stop, please.” 

“Okay.” Harry looked away quickly before regaining himself and looking back up, “Oh babe look what I did I’m so sorry!” 

“Huh? What?” That’s when it started, there was a fork heading in Louis’ direction. 

“I gave myself practically all the veggies and I know the baby corns are your favourite!” Harry dropped three of the miniature vegetables into Louis already heaping bowl. Sure there was probably a little less veggies than he would have liked but there was definitely a sufficient amount without needing Harry's. 

Louis wasn’t going to stop Harry yet, he just nodded politely and said ‘thanks’ to the offer. The rest of the dinner went on per usual, Harry talking fast, his napkin bunching up, offering Louis bites of his food. Louis had accepted the first bite knowing it would keep Harry’s spirits up but declined the second.

“It’s the same as mine Haz, just without the meat.” Harry frowned at Louis restriction to eat his food. With half of his already small portion still uneaten Harry stood up to put the rest in the trash. “I’ll wash the dishes tonight Lou, I made a big mess of things when I cooked for all the guys yesterday and you washed it all up.”

“Harry aren’t you still hungry babe? You still have some left?” Louis couldn’t reframe himself from asking. Harry just shook his head no and said he ‘ate a late lunch on campus with Liam.’ 

\-----

Later than night after Harry cleaned up the kitchen and did a load of laundry for the both of them he sat down next to Louis on the couch resting his head on his shoulder. Harry’s always been snuggly since the couple became official a little over a year back, yet lately Harry had taken clingy to a whole new level. Wrapping his arms around Louis’ waist while they were standing, holding his hand all the time, cuddling into him whenever they were sitting or laying together. And really Louis was not at all opposed to his boyfriends actions but he was growing curious if it had anything to do with his eating habits, having absolutely no idea how the two would relate but there’s always the possibility? 

“I’m tired boo.” Harry yawned quietly as he drew random nonsense into Louis’ covered chest. 

“But the movies not over yetttttttt.” Louis whined, he wasn’t tired enough for bed, despite having worked all day he really wanted to watch the rental.

“It’s okay Lou,” Harry kissed Louis’ frowning face and stood up, “I’m going to go shower and call it finished for me.” 

“Are you sure? It’s barely nine?” 

“I know, but I’m sleepy, wake me up if I’m sleeping by the time you head in.” With that Harry sauntered off into the back of the flat.

Louis finished his movie a little over an hour later, pissed at himself for not being able to fully focus on the crucial ending. He just stared off into the blue screen of the telly for far to long before getting up to turn in off and head to bed. He knows waking up at seven in the morning sucks terribly everyday but he wasn’t ready for bed. 

Harry had mentioned to wake him....

Kneeling over the sleeping figure that was curled into the bed tightly, Louis plopped down on his side. Harry had begged Louis to let him pull the bed out so they could both have a night table and for Louis to no longer have to jump over him to get into bed. 

He couldn’t do it though, he gave in for a week before waking up cross one morning, and pushing the whole bed back against the wall with Harry still in it, waking up alarmed while the bed moved. Harry could decorate, add, take away, move things around pretty much however he pleased but that...that was one Louis couldn’t part with, he needed the bed pushed into the corner, so his side was up against the wall; plus he just used the ever so handy window sill has his night table. 

Harry stirred at the subtle movements but stayed asleep. Louis knew he shouldn’t wake him up they both have obligations in the morning. Taking the two fingers that could fit in between the space of the bed and the wall Louis reached down to grab his journal, and after having wrote about his day and the ‘Harryisms’ he’s found he placed the book back and turned to face the sleeping body next to him. 

“Babe...” Louis whispered but nothing arose from it, so he tried again. “Harry, babe wake up.” He added a small shake to his frail shoulders to help his endeavor. 

“Mmm?” 

“Will you wake up gorgeous?” Louis was trying to turn up the charm, and it must have done something for Harry because he rolled over facing Louis with his eyes closed. 

“Baby I’m sleeping.” Harry muffled into Louis chest, he had pushed himself up against his boyfriend beckoning him silently to go to bed. 

“Well unless you’re sleep talking Haz, I’d reckon you’re awake.” Louis started to trail kisses against Harry’s forehead, down the side of his neck, and stoping on his shoulder. 

Louis heard the quietest of moans fall from Harrys plump lips against his body, and he took that as an okay to take it further. He pushed Harry over on to his back before getting up to straddle him, sucking a love bite into his pale neck, feeling satisfied by the noises forming in Harrys throat. Greedily Louis circled his hips down into Harry feeling both of their cocks hardening. 

“Oh, uhm baby no..no I’m tired.” Harry rushed out once Louis’ hands started to toy with the hem of his nightshirt while kissing up his jaw line. 

Louis was taken back by that? Harry never had turned him down before unless he was sick and Louis was unaware on the rarity. 

“But Haz, you’re hard.” Louis tried as he wiggled back to bring his hand down to cup Harry’s erection through his shorts. 

“No, well yeah but really we both need to wake up early and I’m really tired Lou.” Harry must have saw the look on Louis face as he moved to get off him, “I’m sorry baby.” He whispered almost inaudibly. 

“It’s fine, lets go to bed, yeah?” Louis was annoyed, yeah his boyfriend just turned down having sex with him for the reason of being tired before midnight.... But he wasn’t the type of guy to guilt or force Harry into it, so he just huffed and rolled over.


	2. Shouldn't we feel better after that?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter 2!  
> Jeeze the complications I'm giving myself.  
> HOPE YOU LIKE IT LET ME KNOW ♥

The next few days followed routinely for the young couple. Louis was beginning to get wildly concerned, Harry had not ate any meals with him at all in the past three days; with his reason being, he was out with friends and Louis had happened to stay late at work last night. It was certain that Harry was out those two evenings because when Louis had returned to the flat Harry was not there, leaving a note placed on the end table by the couch each day. Not eating together wasn’t the only act separating the two, Harry was not having sex with Louis, and with each attempt Louis made he was shot down with the same ‘I’m tired’ excuse. 

It was Friday now and Louis was getting ready to head home for work, ecstatic that his boss was letting him have both days of the weekend off! Harry should be home tonight hopefully, considering his schedule was free of classes on Fridays, and the lucky bugger didn’t have to work. The commute home was horrid, the streets lined with vehicles honking and moving what felt like only centimeters at a time. The travel added on an additional hour to Louis' usual ride home.

Harry’s car was in the drive when Louis pulled up, which made the tired lad more excited than it probably should have. He decided in between traffic lights that he was going to talk to Harry tonight about his concerns. 

“Harry?” Louis called out when he noticed both the common area and kitchen were empty with the lights turned off. 

“In here Lou.” Louis heard his boyfriend call from down the hall, the short walk revealed Harry siting up in bed under the duvet watching an odd old-fashioned foreign film. 

“Hi babe, everything alright?” Harry just shrugged at Louis' question keeping his eyes trained on the screen. 

The room was dark with the shades drawn down and the lights off. The only light was from the telly illuminating the room in dark greys. Louis walked over and sat on the edge of the bed reaching for Harry's hands that were crossed on his chest. 

“Louis move, you’re in the way.” Harry unraveled his hands and swatted Louis gently on the shoulder, and just so _coincidentally_ placed his arms under the covers after that. 

Louis couldn’t take it anymore it felt like Harry was purposefully pushing away from him. It seemed like all the contact Louis was getting from Harry was late at night when the two were in bed Harry would move close to cuddle up before falling asleep, and though Louis’ mood was usually sour from being turned down for nightly activities that used to be so normal, he couldn’t not bring himself to pull Harry further into him. 

“Harry, can we talk please?” Louis started up, shifting slightly so he wasn’t obscuring Harry’s view of the screen. 

“Lou.” Was all Harry said while he jabbed his finger toward the film. 

And to that all Louis did was get up and leave the room, maybe shutting the door a little more forcefully then usual. After sitting on the couch with a cup of tea Louis started to conclude that maybe he was expecting to much out of Harry. Maybe Harry was really into the black and white that was playing? Why should Harry have to pause the film for a second to kiss him sweetly and ask how his day was? Or stop to chat about whatever was concerning Louis? 

He shouldn’t have too, right? Conversely, Louis was used to all that. Harry always greeted him when he came home if he was there. Always gave him a kiss even if it was just on the cheek because he was busy with something, and the two always were open with one another. Everything was wrong right then and Louis hated it. 

“Louis?” Looking up from his empty mug Louis saw Harry standing there in an oversized jumper and a pair of Louis sweats tied tightly up, he even had a pair of socks on his feet. 

“Hmm?” 

“Did you turn the heat down when you came in?” Harry was swaying awkwardly back and fourth and wasn’t looking down at Louis. What had Louis done to upset Harry this badly that he wouldn’t even look him in the eye while taking about the heat?

“Yeah love I did. It was up extremely high, it’s stifling in here Haz are you feeling ill?” 

Harry shook his head ‘no’ and started back down the hallway to their room. As sick and twisted as it may have sounded Louis almost wished Harry would have said yes to feeling ill, so then Louis would have felt better about how Harry was neglecting him.

“Haz!” Louis shouted out to get him back into the same room. Louis heard the padded feet turn around.

“Yeah?” 

“Sit down with me?” Louis tapped the cushion next to him, yearning to himself that he could pretend he didn’t see Harry hesitate before sitting down.

“What’s wrong?” Harry asked with his eyes darting away from meeting Louis’ again. 

“What did I do Harry?” Louis sighed, and used his two fingers to lightly pull Harrys chin up to face him. “Tell what I did wrong so I can fix it.” 

“My movie isn’t over yet Lou.” Harry spoke pulling away from the warmth of Louis’ fingers.

“For fuck sakes Harry!” Louis was standing now looking down at Harry who shifted uncomfortably from Louis' venomous tone. “Why are you doing this to me!” 

“I don’t know what you’re going on about?” Louis could blatantly tell Harry was lying from the way he scrunched up his eyes and thinned out his lips while he answered.

“Babe please look, I’m sorry for yelling,” Louis dropped to his knees in front of Harry scooting between his legs.

“Oh, no Lou I’m not in the mood for-” 

“Harry I’m not trying to suck you off.” The tears were pooling in Louis’ eyelids brighting the blue iris immensely, “I just want to be close to you... Why are you pushing me away love, please just tell what I did, I’ll fix it, I promise.” 

Harry cried, just started sobbing awfully, his body trembling from the intensity of his outcry. His thighs moving shut to squeeze Louis in before he dropped himself down onto the floor and grabbed Louis’ waist, trying to erase any bit of space that was between them.

“It’s okay love I just-” Louis was cut short by Harrys cold plump lips pressing on to his. Wrapping his arms around Louis’ neck and pulling him up. Harry lead them backward into their room only breaking the kiss twice, once to breathe and a second to shut the telly off- leaving the two in almost complete darkness. 

“It’s so dark.” Louis panted out starting to shed his own clothes while Harry hopped on to the bed and Louis could barely make out Harry undressing as well. 

“Mmm, it’s okay yeah, it’s okay?” Harry stiffened in the shoulders.

“ ‘Course babe.”  
\------

“Just put three in baby.” Harry begged once he saw Louis dripping the lube over his fingers. 

Louis rubbed one of his wet fingers around Harrys hole before debating on really sticking three in at once. “That’s gonna hurt love.” Despite how many times Louis and Harry have had sex in the past Harry was always so tight.

“Just do it Louis, please.” The please did it for him, Louis tried to pile his fingers together as close as they could get before kissing Harry greedily on the mouth and pushing them inside the warm heat. 

Harry released a filthy moan from the back of his throat, Louis’s cock hardening even more from how husky Harry's voice got when he was aroused. He continued to push in and out of Harry.

“Okay-yeah okay, n-need you baby, now.” Harry gripped at he sheets wrapping his legs around Louis to urge him along. 

“Babe, I haven’t even stretched you out long enough yet. I don’t want it to hurt” Louis was curious as to why it felt Harry was opening easier than usual, and how well he was doing at muffling back the pained sounds for such an intrusive fingering, but he couldn’t be ready yet? 

“Louis-s please I’m ready, please I’m ready.” Instead of fucking himself further down on to Louis' fingers like he usually did when he was getting desperate, Harry raised himself up off them. 

Louis was sensing something off but his cock was rock hard from the short period of getting nothing, that he ran the cool lube over his length, relishing in the feeling before lining up with Harry's opened entrance, that he could assume was weakly pulsing with want. 

Louis fucked into Harry, and when he began to feel the coils of heat turn up in his stomach he pulled at Harrys stiff prick uncoordinatedly a few times before Harry was beginning to gasp. 

“Cl-lose, oh yeah, ha-haharder baby!” 

Harry came all over Louis' hand and his chest clenching and contracting tight around Louis, pulling the orgasm right out of him. He came hard filling up Harry before pulling out and loving the whine Harry made at the loss of contact. 

Louis flopped around Harry to get off the bed and grab something to clean his boyfriend off with. He flicked on the light to get a better view. 

“Lou! Turn the light off!” Harry barked from on the bed.

“Haz, I'm just looking for the tissues?” 

“Can’t I just fucking have the light off Louis!” Harry rolled over and pulled the duvet up over his naked body.

Louis picked up his t-shirt from the floor slowly, shutting the light off and making his way to the bed. He silently got in over Harry and under the covers, feeling like the space between them was larger than it was. Louis reached to wipe off Harrys cum from the boys chest. 

“Thank you.” 

“Yeah.” Louis couldn’t help but notice just how prominent Harry’s ribs were under his touch and how easily his body had already cooled down. He really needed to talk to Harry, and he just wished he would have done that instead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :o I know!


	3. This Can't be True?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 3! ♥  
> Holy Shit!  
> Let me know what ya think!

When Louis woke up the following morning the bed space beside him was already empty. The alarm clock on Harry’s bed table told him it was only 8:30am, Louis rolled over and shivered. The sheets underneath him were cold, Harry had been up for a while already. It was so early and he hardly ever had a Saturday off that he really wanted to sleep in, but his curiosity as to where Harry was this early in the morning struck a nerve. Louis got up and dressed himself in pajamas and headed out of the bedroom to find Harry.

“Babe?” Harry was not on the couch, or in the bathroom, and was definitely not in the kitchen. Louis checked just in case, and there was a note on the fridge. 

_  
Lou-_

_I went out for breakfast with Liam, I’ll be home later on._

__

 

Louis took the paper and crumpled it tightly before throwing it in the bin. Of course Harry was going out for breakfast with Liam, so he did have to be here and eat with Louis. Of course it’s completely normal that he wrote the note without the usual endearments littering the page, everything was just _perfect_. 

He had told himself he was going to tell Harry about his concerns about his eating habits, and then reminded himself again after their awkward sex last night, but now when he woke up Harry was gone. That wasn’t okay, everything wasn’t okay. Louis grabbed his mobile dialing up Harry’s number. Louis knew he should have probably waited a minute or two to cool down but nothing in his mind was working rationally right then. 

Harry didn’t answer. 

He called again. 

Harry didn’t answer, _again_.

Louis texted his boyfriend twice with ‘call me’ with yet again no reply. He had it. Louis scrolled through his contacts until he found Liam’s number dialing that. It rang four times and Louis was just about to hang up when Liam answered.

“Hello?” Liam’s voice sounded tired?

“Hi Liam sorry but can you tell Harry to call me mate?” Louis was mechanically tapping at the floor with his foot when the boy on the other end was staying quiet for far to long.

“Uhm sorry mate, Harry’s not with me?” 

 

“Oh, sorry Liam I just assumed it was you he hadn’t left a name on who he was out with.” Louis lied, “Sorry to wake you, bye now.” 

Louis hung up the phone before he could hear Liam respond. What was happening? Harry lied to him, and now Louis was worried and mad, feeling utterly useless. He was about to call another friend of theirs but worked up against that, he didn’t want people knowing he had no idea where his boyfriend was so early in the day. He tried dialing up Harry again, once even blocking his number to appear as a private caller but nothing was working. 

__  
‘Harry if this is about last night and you’re upset I really need you to call me back. I know you are not with Liam and I have no fucking idea why you are lying to me, but just call me back so I know you are okay.’  


The voicemail sounded impatient and hasty but Louis really didn't care, Harry was on his last straw right then and he was worried. 

Two hours passed slowly with Louis clutching his phone so tightly he was almost afraid the sweat radiating off his hand would damage the innocent device somehow, and he needed to relax. The next _four_ hours went by even slower. Louis tried calling more, texting again, and even went to the depths of Facebook messaging Harry. If anyone else was aware of how he was reacting they would probably assume he was some obsessive boyfriend who needed exacts on Harry's whereabouts always, but really he was just scared-Harry always answered his phone or did as soon as he could, and Louis liked to think Harry never _lied_ either, but right now he felt like he was loosing. His eyes were starting to get heavy around 2:30p but he struggled to stay awake to make sure he would hear the phone if it rang. 

The phone never rang but the door did open. Louis’ head that was just starting to dip backward with exhaustion sprang forward to stare directly at Harry in the doorway. 

“Hi Lou.” Harry greeted Louis causally, all his previous worry vanishing and just pure annoyance reinstating. 

“Hi Harry.” Louis was going to play a little game, see if Harry mentioned not being with Liam and meeting up with someone else or whatnot. “How was your day?” 

“Fine, what time did you get up?” Harry walked over sitting down next to Louis on the couch with a brown bag in his hand.”I brought you home some lunch incase you haven’t eaten yet.” 

“Did you eat yet Harry?” Louis was fighting hard to restrain himself, to keep composed but he couldn’t help his monotone speech. 

“Yeah, didn’t you get my note Lou I ate with Liam earlier thats why I went out.” 

Louis just shook his head, obviously Harry had not got his earlier voice message about finding out, and here he was lying again straight to Louis face. 

“You didn’t eat did you Harry?” Louis unzipped Harrys winter coat slowly, and unless Harry started smoking recently the cold air lingered the stench to his jacket material. 

“Lou did you not just hear me? I said -” 

“Right you said you were out with Liam...” Louis pulled the jacket off his boyfriends shoulders that were draped in a large jumper underneath. He brought his fingers up underneath the warm fabric causing the younger lad to buck away from his touch. “I’m cold Louis I want this on.” 

“You never answered me Harry...” Louis pulled back from the slouching lad and stood up over him, he knew he was intimidating Harry but he needed him to tell the truth. 

“Yes-s I ate breakfast not lunch yet baby.” Harry tried to reach his arms out around Louis waist but he stepped backward to fast and Harry just lurched forward almost falling off the furniture. “Louis?” 

“You didn’t get any of my..hmm..my like ten phone calls or texts did you Harry, where was your phone, and I know you didn’t leave it here.” 

Harry shrank back into the corner of the plushy couch cushions pulling his legs up with him Louis could tell he knew. 

“I brought it baby but it died.” 

“I hope that’s true Harry because one person shouldn’t lie to many times in one day.” Louis moved in so his legs were breaching the couch, “I know you weren’t with Liam today, I called him because I was worried about you...where were you Harry?”

Harry’s body started trembling, his eyes darting around the room, “I was going to go with him Lou but I got coffee with another friend instead.” 

“Why’d you lie and say you were with him twice, and lie about eating Harry?” 

“I’m eating I swear just not a lot, I’m- uh, I’m dieting.” Harry reached again for Louis but when he grabbed on to his pajama pants all Louis did was nothing just continued to look down at the thin body below him. Harry’s jeans were barely skinny jeans any more the meat on his legs slowly wasting away. 

“Dieting Harry! You don’t need to diet! You’re going to hurt yourself Haz.” Toward the end of that Louis’ voice had softened tremendously, bending down to sit next to his alarmed lover. 

“No, no I’m fine I make sure I eat everyday don’t worry, I eat everyday.” Harry looked tired, underneath his emerald eyes were faint bags from sleeplessness, even his brown curls were appearing lackluster. The way his body was so cold last night Louis knew despite Harry’s claim to be eating everyday, it wasn’t enough. He was starving himself slowly.

“Babe please tell me why you are dieting?” Louis pulled Harry out of the corner and into his lap with much ease, his delicate bum bone jabbing more than usual into his thighs. 

“I’m just a little uncomfortable with my body Lou, okay? Lets drop it.” Harry pleaded into Louis neck, kissing gently under his ear before curling his head under Louis’ chin. 

Louis didn’t know what else to say? He knew Harry, well at least he thought he used too, but if he were to push Harry to far right now he would isolate himself more from Louis, and that was not going to help anything. He stood up with Harry carrying him like a fragile child, bringing him into their bedroom and placing him down in bed sitting up. 

Louis kissed Harry’s forehead three sweet times before kissing his lips. “I love you Haz, more then anything.” Louis reached down again pulling mildly at the jumper and loose T-shirt underneath to warn Harry he was about to take them off. 

“I love you too baby,” Harry bent forward resting his head on Louis abdomen, “but I’m cold please let me keep my clothes on, please.” Louis could hear Harry sniffling into his shirt so desperate for Louis to not undress him, and it pulled at his heart strings. Louis knew from the two having each other last night that Harry’s body was slowly withering away, and he would address that tomorrow now that he had told Harry he was aware of his under eating, but he didn’t want the love of his life to be ever uncomfortable in front of him no matter the circumstances. 

“Don’t fight me anymore Harry, I will always love you.” Louis tried again to take Harry’s top off, his intentions were not sexual at all he just wanted to change him. 

“No, no you won’t. You won’t love me anymore!” Harry barked, his voice cracking with as much force he could muster up pushing Louis’ hands off him. 

“Harry, please stop, I’ll always love you. Why wouldn’t I love you, I could never not love-” Louis was the one sobbing now, he just wanted his boyfriend back. What had he done to make Harry hate himself so much, he always told him he was beautiful and how much he meant to him... _what had he done_?

“No you won’t Louis! I don’t even fucking deserve it!” Harry was screeching now, clenching his teeth together while tears streamed smoothly down his face. Harry grabbed his own shirt and ripped it off. Louis eyes first notice how much his stomach con-caved inwardly, his ribs were becoming considerably visible, he was so hung up on that, that he did not see the scratches leading down his sides. “I’m so sorry Louis! Please I’m so sorry, I love you!” Harry fell to his knees and pathetically wrapped around Louis’ legs to prevent him from moving, and thats when Louis saw not only the scratches but the bite mark on his shoulder.

“H-Harry, what are those? I didn’t...last night.” Louis ran his fingers over the blemish, it couldn’t be what he thought it was. 

“I’m sorry baby! Please I want you to know-” 

“Get off me Harry.” Louis jerked his leg to edge Harry backward and off from around him, “You’re fucking sleeping with someone else, when...when I HAVE TO PRACTICALLY BEG TO TOUCH YOU!” That had to be wrong, Harry couldn’t be cheating on him, they were in love...

“I’m sorry Louis!” Harry stood up choking on his own saliva and tears. 

“You disgust me, how could you do that to me?” 

Harry just stood there in front of him blinking back pointlessly the tears that were pouring over. 

“I asked you a question!” Louis was crying, and screaming, but mostly just hurting. 

“I don’t know, it started a while ago, and I want it to stop but I just don’t know how! Lou, baby please I love you no one else.” Harry wrapped his arms around Louis neck, but Louis pulled away violently, the though of Harry being with another man earlier and having ignored him all day to go fuck someone else appalled him. 

“You don’t know how to stop someone shoving their cock up your ass Harry?! Is that what you’re telling me! You don’t know how to stop fucking someone else? You’ve became quite the liar now Harry, because it wasn’t hard for you to stop fucking me easily!”Louis backed away toward the door.

“Louis no thats not it I-” Louis was almost about to stop the screaming, Harry was wavering back and fourth and sweat was coming down his face mixing with the other bodily liquids building up on his red cheeks. But he couldn’t. How could Harry do that to him?

“Shut up!, I’m going to go sleep in the living room, and if you even come near me I will leave, or...hmm... Do you just want to go see, go see... You’re real boyfriend Harry, the one you let have you in ways I can’t!?” Louis walked back into the common area squeezing his fist tight to his sides when he heard Harry following after him.

“Harry go back in the god damned room, I’m not leaving and neither are you tonight, I want to make sure you don’t wither away and die, I’m going to make sure you get better if we are together or not.” 

Louis sat down on the couch pinching the bridge of his nose to try and relieve some of the pressure that was building up. 

“Louis! Baby, no please we are always going to be together, thats why you said, you said that-” 

“That was before you started seeing other people behind my back Harry, now please just leave me alone for the night. 

When the bedroom door slammed shut and Harry started screaming out sorry’s, he knew he wasn’t getting any sleep that night, he knew he wouldn’t have been able to even if Harry was mute for the night, but he felt a tad better having the excuse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whAT THE ?! kudos/comments?!


	4. Things will get better, Promise me that?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 4!♥  
> So this one is based in Harry's POV for more of an inside view of the situation.   
> LET ME KNOW? kudos/comments?

His voice was raw and sore from all the screaming, the pointless screaming. He knew Louis wasn't going to come open the door to hold him and whisper that everything was going to be okay in his ears. Harry's everything felt overexerted; his body ached, his eyes were red and swollen, and his mental stability was just dust in the wind.  

It made him feel disgusting, just like Louis said he was. Harry couldn't help buy repeat over and over in his head Louis' voice saying "you disgust me", occasionally it would even slip absentmindedly from his chapped lips when they were released from his teethes grip.  Harry couldn't stomach the thought of loosing Louis; literally he had to grab the bin next to their bed and release into it, cursing himself when he coughed to loudly. He didn't get sick for long, there was barely anything in his stomach, it was just from his nerves toying with him. 

Harry grimaced at the taste of the bile flavour lingering on his tongue. He hated getting sick, and as much as he knew it could help speed up his wishes it was not an option. It was weak. He looked down into his school bag grabbing at an old water bottle to swash the remnants away.  He needed to stop this but he was so lost on how to. He was trash and he deserved what consequences came his way, but Louis definitely did not. Louis deserved everything he ever wanted, he was the most beautiful person Harry had ever met, and not just superficially- on the inside too. Harry hated that Louis didn’t get the best, which he most rightfully deserved, instead he got him. A spoiled trust fund baby, calling to mummy any time he needed something. 

Harry hated himself for having no real independence, and when he wanted to help Louis with his bills and past debit he was sure he knew why the proud lad wouldn't let him yet, but in time Harry was sure that Louis would accept his help but not just yet. 

_In time_... That's if Louis ever forgives him. Harry needed him to though, he needed Louis, loved him deeply but sadly that's what got himself into this predicament in the first place. 

Harry curled up on Louis side of the bed taking in the smell that was imbedded into his pillow. He was shivering and with the lack of heat his body was emitting the duvet was not warming him up quickly. This needed to stop immediately, it was essential for Louis to know just how much Harry truly did care for him, so he picked up his mobile. 

“Harry?” The accent doing nothing for him like it did when Louis’ bubbly tone would answer his calls. 

“Look I can’t do this anymore, it needs to stop, Lo-” Harry was cut short by a tremendous deviant laugh that was almost comical sounding. 

“Louis found out, you dumb shit, well did you tell him it was me you came begging too?” 

“I never beg for you Zayn, I hate you, and no he doesn’t know it’s you and if you please just promise me that you won’t take Louis’ promotion away I wont even tell him it was you doing this to me.” Harry was talking fast, spewing an abundance of words per second. 

“Doing this to you Harry? I was helping you, Louis thinks you are gross, I am his _best friend_ after all I would know these things. But I do have the perks of being his supervisor, shame too really the lad has so much talent to bad he didn’t excel academically.” Zayn’s banter was irking Harry, his voice almost making it feel like his ears would combust and bleed at any moment. This was his boyfriends best friend doing this to him. He knew if he told Louis that Zayn was forcing him to be with him, Louis would loose his job and there was no way he could afford to stay anywhere without it. Louis loved his job, he worked so hard to save up enough to get into his flat in the first place, and Harry was afraid that Zayn would hurt Louis. 

“Zayn please, please I can’t do this anymore I’ve hurt him so much recently and I just can’t do it any longer, I swear if you keep his job out this I will say it was some random bloke from school and just hope he forgives me.” Harry was fighting the threatening tears pooling in his ducts, he needed to be strong for Louis. 

“Louis doesn’t love you the way you think he does Harry, how many times have I told you this, Harry you with that body just...really you are lucky to have either of us.” 

“I hate you, I fucking hate you, you bastard!” Harry screamed into the receiver, throwing his phone across the room for it to land roughly on the wooden floors. 

Louis must have heard the crash along with Harry screaming his hatred out loud, for which he thought was undoubtedly directed toward him. 

“Harry what is going on?” Louis stood dumbly in the threshold watching Harry curl his fist into his pillow on the bed while his back arched painfully upward as he tried to burry away his frustrations. 

“Louis I hate him!” Harry wasn’t seeing Louis really, physically he saw his body there standing in the doorway but he wasn’t really there. Everything was clouded by the hatred he felt for Zayn, and what he deemed was his own stupidity. He was going to lose the man of his dreams for some valiant move he tried to pull, when he really should have just told Louis the day Zayn threatened him.

“Harry what are you talking about?” Louis stepped further into the room, right as Harry buried his face further in the bedding, bringing his rather bony hands up to rip on his hair. 

“Zayn, fucking Zayn, Louis he made me but don’t tell him okay, everything’s going to be okay! I promise!” Harry pulled up to face Louis who was just staring at him bewilderedly after hearing his vague confession, not saying a word, “It’s true...oh my god its true the bastard was right.”

“Whats true? What did Zayn make you do?” Louis was uncomfortable now, he was already frightened about how Harry was acting, and he was praying that his thoughts on what he interpreted Harrys jumble to be, were false. 

“You don’t love me back, Louis I’ll change, I’m already changing see I’m getting thinner I need you, don’t leave me please I’ll be a better boyfriend to you, I’ll let you love me again.” Harry jumped wildly off the bed and into Louis arms causing the two to tumble backward into the wall. 

“Harry you’re scaring me-e,” Louis coughed out, shakily placing his hands on Harry’s nonexistent hips to pull the two up right. “What are you talking about, please calm down and talk to me babe.” 

Harry silenced for a minute taking in a deep breath at the feeling of Louis’ soft touch and the use of the pet name. He readily became aware that his chest was still bare, and the putrid marks were visible along with his blocky body, and neither of those were going to get Louis to love him like he once did. Harry scrambled back toward the bed where he had taken off his top earlier, the material felt terrible on his body. The fabric was coarse and insensitive on his chest and nipples, but there was no time to find an undershirt- he needed to disguise his trunk fast, thinking the baggy jumper should help there be plenty left to the imagination, and that way Louis could envision Harry the way he would be soon. 

“Lou, please tell me you still love me.” Harry weakly implored as he brought his body to sit crisscross on the hard floor. Pushing the soiled bin under his night table so Louis wouldn’t see the mess inside of it. 

“Are you gagging yourself Haz?” Louis sat down facing Harry their knees touching each others. 

“No Lou, and I know you have no reason to believe me but no, I got sick because I cant stomach the thought of you leaving me...” Harry couldn’t bring himself to cry anymore, or even sob out dryly, to anyone else he would appear to be lacking emotion. He couldn’t help but realize Louis’ opt to subject change. Harry had these crazy fantasies of being with Louis forever, and he knew that sounded somewhat ridiculous given their romantic relationship buds barely over a year, but Harry fell for Louis practically the week he met the vivacious lad following their first acquaintance at his friend Niall’s. Louis was everything Harry could ever ask for in a partner, and that’s why it shattered him when Zayn told him Louis was just comfortable with their relationship, and that Harry was not appeasing him correctly. 

“...-Harry are you listening to me?” Louis’ tentative voice brought him back to reality and he realized he was ignoring Louis unintentionally but none the less. 

“Sorry ba- Louis, I’m an idiot.” 

“What did Zayn make you do Harry tell me right now.” This was exactly the question Harry had always nightmared about, the day Louis asked those words to him.

“He, well we had...please don’t make me say it out loud.” Harry hung his head low in shame. 

“Did he force you Harry, did he have sex with you without your consent? Look I really need to know this, did he hurt you?” Louis lunged forward grabbing at Harrys cheeks that lacked the childish flesh that used to accent his dimples. 

“No, well I don’t know Lou! I never wanted to have...that but he said it would help me in the fucking _long run_ I’m such an idiot!, and so so sorry.” 

Louis’ face seemed to crumple a little more than it already was, but he pushed on further without yelling, which surprised Harry. “In the long run of what?”   
“Helping you fall for me again.” Harrys body must have mustered up some spare liquid, tears streamed silently down his face, dripping discarded to the floor. 

“Fall for you again? Harry I never stopped...Never once lost any feelings for you? But how do you expect me to believe that having sex with Zayn was to help benefit me?” Harry watched the flush rush dangerously fast up Louis, but he still kept his tone considerate. 

“Well it first started off with him saying you had interest in that intern at work who I saw that time I brought you dinner a few months back and he...he’s tiny Louis, such a beautiful body and there I was all broad and shapeless and just gigantic...”

“Harry what are-” 

“Please let me just get this all out baby,”Harry frowned but continued on “So I asked him if you were still...ugh this is so pathetic and humiliating...I asked Zayn if you still thought I was sexy, and he said ‘no that you were comfortable with me’ and so I asked if it was because I was huge and he quickly confirmed, and shit just got worse. So I confided in Zayn to keep telling me how you were feeling about me and I believed him because he never said you stopped loving me per se but that I wasn’t attractive enough and one day Zayn freaked out and told me to stop crying and that I was being selfish and it spiraled into him saying he wouldn’t tell me anymore if I didn’t let him _have_ me, and if I complained or told you baby he would fuck up your job and you’ve worked so hard and deserve-” 

“Harry... That’s not at all true, and it’s killing that you would believe that babe! I fucking love you so much Haz and have never once doubted my love for you. I need you to promise me that you will never let anyone, I don’t care what they say they will do to me, let them hurt you like that! Do you hear me babe!?” It was Louis turn to silently cry but he kept his tone strong in the way to promote he was being serious with Harry.

“I won’t Louis, I swear just give me a second chance and I will prove to you that you will be able to trust me again.” Experimentally Harry stuck his hand on Louis calf to squeeze lightly. 

Harry knew he looked utterly revolting right then, all red faced and damp. The sweat and salty tears mixing and spewing from everywhere, and with Louis’ resistance and hesitance to speak caused his anxiety level to increase to where his heart was probably racing so rapidly Louis could hear it. 

“No more of this dieting.” Louis finally spoke. 

“Okay, I promise I won’t ever hurt you like that ever again Lou.” Harry knew it wouldn’t be that easy and though he’s reasoned with himself day after day that Zayn probably had lied to him and every next morning he said he would change right back because fuck that bastard....but he couldn't and seeing the amount of foods people expected him to intake... _well that was disgusting_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well....♥


	5. Alright, Tomorrow Then?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 5 ! ♥ 
> 
> let me know what you think?

Over the next few days, things hadn’t resolved themselves fully. Louis was still feeling hesitant whenever Harry had left for class that Monday morning. He also noted that Zayn had not shown up for work Monday, and Harry had begged him to not say anything that would jeopardize his job (which he may have agreed too but had other intentions per se), Louis was going to punch that disgusting pig in his nose for defiling Harry the way he did. Just was going to do so outside of work. He could also not stop wondering if Harry was truly going to eat lunch on campus like he had agreed to do. Overall it was a long day. 

When he arrived back at their flat Harry was already home and sitting on the couch watching aimlessly at the show on the telly. Wrapped firmly in the duvet from their bed, curls especially curly, showing that he had put no product in them that morning before leaving. Louis stood there for a minute watching Harry, and how sleepy he looked- taking long drawn out blinks more frequently. 

“Hey.” Louis made his presence known, still standing in the front side of the room. 

Harry turned his head quickly, smiling openly and getting up with the duvet still covering his shoulders as he walked toward Louis. 

“Lou.” Was all Harry said as he placed his head down on Louis’ shoulder bringing his body immaculately close as his arms were still wrapped in themselves under the covers. Louis pulled his boyfriend closer, his own arms engulfing the cushioned draped body, turning his head to kiss Harry’s temple. 

“How was your day babe?” Louis asked as Harry raised up from his body, smile fading from his face. 

“Fine I guess, besides that I missed youuu very much.” Harry kissed him on the cheek before turning and placing the duvet back on the couch. “What do you want for dinner baby, I hadn’t made anything yet?” 

Louis could tell Harry spotted him staring when he pulled his arms up above his head in a stretch. The frown on his defined face bluntly evident. Louis scowled to himself quickly before plastering on another smile, it’s just Harry looked so frail in certain spots. Moments ago when the hem of his shirt raised upward Louis was reminded just how prominent Harry’s hipbones were becoming and how deflated his stomach looked between the arches of his ribs and hips. Harry didn’t look as though he was skeletal with skin stretched over, but Louis was afraid of that being able to become a possibility if nothing was sorted out _fast_.

“Louis?” 

“Hmm, yeah babe?” Louis removed his jacket and shoes placing them pilled in the common rooms corner he was near, chuckling when he saw Harry roll his eyes at his laziness. 

“I asked what you wanted to do for dinner tonight, you must be hungry?” Harry reiterated for Louis again. Louis was hungry, he had worked through his lunch break to finish off a piece that he wanted to be perfect. He had to restrain himself from shouting out ‘Well are you hungry?, What have you eaten today?, How much do you weigh,?’ he needed to find these things out, just not right then- not all at once. Harry couldn’t be overwhelmed with Louis’ necessary information seeking in such a bombard manner or he would shut down, any time he was feeling flustered no matter the reasons he would lock up and become rather emotional.

“What are you up for?” Louis asked as causally as he could present. Walking into the kitchen to advert from Harry’s eyes. 

“I don’t mind, anything you want.” 

“Well what did you have for lunch today, maybe we could go out for a bite?” Louis’ suggestion provoked a _deer in the head lights_ contorted expression on Harry, his eyes darting between the refrigerator and Louis. Louis watched as Harry spun on his heel to face in opposition to him, wiggling the fingers on one hand rapidly against his hip as the other was brought up to brush easily through his hair. 

“I had a calzone on campus, mhm, yeah lets stay in and eat.” Harry still stood not looking at Louis 

“But they finally opened that weird little greek place you wanted to try we could go out?” Louis pushed, he really wanted to go out and not have to do dishes after working all day.

“No please I’m not in the mood to go out, lets make uhmmmmm we have-” Harry walked over to the icebox and opened it looking down at its minimal contents, neither of them had gone out grocery shopping recently, “We have frozen pizza?” 

Louis grumbled out an ‘okay’ to the frozen pizza that he knew he would enjoy but would have much rather have gone out for an oversized order of gyros instead. Harry smiled enthusiastically at Louis agreement to stay in for dinner and happily tossed the frozen meal into the oven. When it came time to set the food down Harry had already precut their slices and put them on their corresponding plates. Harry’s piece was half the size of a normal take out slice, and Louis’ was double...

“Harry you are going to eat more right?” 

“No, this good for tonight, but there is more for you baby.” Harry spoke sweetly nibbling the end of his slice. 

“I didn’t ask for more I was talking about you.” Louis really didn’t know how he was supposed to go about this. 

“Well then I’ll put it in the fridge or throw it away Louis, jesus it’s not a big deal.” Harry stabbed his slice with a fork keeping the eye contact with Louis minimal while he spoke. 

“It is a big deal Harry, you need to-” 

“Well guess who just lost their appetite, thank you very much.” Louis sat frozen and shocked while he watched his boyfriend walk over to the trash bin and throw his barely there slice away, along with the rest of the pizza, “Hope you didn’t want any seconds.” He spat before walking away. 

Louis wanted to be difficult and angry and not eat his dinner and blame Harry like the way Harry had just done to him ridiculously as an excuse not to eat, but his stomach rumbled and he was actually hungry. 

He ate his slice. 

Louis stayed in the kitchen for hours on end just drawing away at some ideas he didn’t want to loose, also keeping his mind off Harry. He was so concentrated on his art that he hadn’t noticed the lanky figure watching him from a few meters away. 

“Sorry Lou, I shouldn't have freaked out on you, that was wrong.” Harry apologized walking up next to Louis cupping is hand on his shoulder. 

“It’s okay Haz, just try to-” 

“I’ll try harder tomorrow I swear Lou!” Harry was apparently not going to try any harder tonight, and Louis didn’t have it in him to argue, it was late. 

 

Later that night Harry ran his delicate fingers in vertical traces up Louis’ chest that was raising evenly as he was soon ready to drift off asleep. The two hadn’t experienced anything sexual beyond a few heated make outs, since the night before Louis found out about the _thing_ going on between Harry and Zayn. Louis hitched his breath when he felt Harry’s cold fingers slip over his nipple that he continued for a few seconds to rub softly with the pads of his fingers. Harry scooted his body closer to form securely into Louis’ side, humming out quietly “Lou, you’re still up,yeah?” 

Louis debated on pretending he was asleep, still upset from their failed dinner but he had to remind himself that Harry wasn’t going to be able to work everything out overnight, let alone if he shunned him every time something fell threw. He wanted to show Harry he loved him more then anything, it was just difficult lately seeing the one he loved so dearly falling apart, in ways he didn’t know how to make better or even compensate for. 

“Yeah babe, I’m up.” Louis ghosted his hand up to place gently over Harry’s whose was now stroking horizontally between his pecs. Louis could tell Harry opened his mouth to say something but closed it against his shoulder quickly, sighing outwardly. He watched Harry rise up from his side with the dim light that was streaming in from the window. Harry’s long torso was covered by one of Louis thinned by time, loose grey long sleeved shirts and a pair of his own black sweats, everything just seeming immensely baggy on his body. Louis could tell that Harry wanted to be close by the way his eyes were bearing into his, the way his hand even though sitting upright now still remained on his stomach moving his thumb slowly over his happy trail. 

“I love you Louis?” Louis had to fight back the choke in his throat that formed when he heard the question in Harry’s statement as though he was afraid Louis wasn’t going to reciprocate the feeling. Louis grabbed around Harry’s arm that was lacking the bicep a few months back he was trying so hard to work for, and pulled him down onto his chest. Grazing his lips against Harry’s whispering unnecessarily into his mouth-

“I love you too Harry, don’t ever forget that.”

Surprisingly Harry took the initiative to plunge forward the few centimeters to connect their lips in the kiss he was craving, but when Louis felt the nudge on his thigh, he knew it was not the _only thing_ Harry wanted. Louis pulled around Harry’s hips to guide his body over his own, entangled like either one of them was afraid to let go. Harry had his knees on the sides of Louis’ hips, his crotch pushing down into Louis’ newly tenting boxers causing the older of the two to moan out and grab at Harry’s arse greedily. 

“You gonna ride me babe, hmm let me fill you up, love?” Louis’ exertion was clearly evident to Harry as he purposefully rubbed circles downwardly into it. 

“Let me keep my shirt on?” Harry spewed as he was rubbing long slow paths up Louis’ chest with both hands causing his hips to dip further into Louis’ cock with each movement. Despite the physical pleasure Louis was receiving, what Harry just asked softened his cock, his baby use to always love being naked just to be naked and now here he was asking to keep clothes on while they made love... The question just melted Louis’ heart in all the wrong ways, he wanted to cry and sob and call his mum for advice on what to do, but he couldn’t he needed to stay strong for Harry. 

“No babe? Please take your shirt off...” Louis felt like he was asking something inconsiderate and selfish toward Harry but he really wasn’t, he wanted things to just be _normal_ again. When they could fuck with the lights on, eat snacks together in bed, Harry being in the nude while doing laundry, or the dishes, those were the things Louis had became accustomed too, not only in the short time they’ve lived together, but when Harry was sleeping over Louis’ flat almost four, five nights a week before they moved him in officially. 

“Can you shut the blinds then Lou?” There was a sort of sharpness that was backed up in Harry’s tone, and Louis didn’t like it let alone understand it, and when he didn’t respond Harry added, “And I rather not ride you.” 

“Why?” Louis didn’t exactly know what he was questioning but it was all he could muster out. 

“I just don’t feel comfortable with that, uhm maybe if you let me lay back I can take my shirt off or-” 

“I can’t do this, lets just go to bed.” Louis’ curled his legs up to suggest to Harry to move up off him. 

“Louis, what no, C’mon why can’t we do this...” Harry kept his thighs gripped on to either side of Louis’ hips not liking the feeling of his rejection. 

“Harry it’s just not-not natural right now, I can’t have sex with you with all these stipulations, no shirt no lights, okay shirt off but you can’t be on top, it’s weird and I’m sorry but I doubt I could even get it up right now.” Louis had tears in his eyes while he spoke, but it was the truth, it’s not that he didn’t want Harry like that, it’s just he couldn’t do it, Harry was not just a causal fuck to him obviously and things weren’t right. He couldn’t keep having estranged almost pointless sex with Harry while this was going on, it was just going to further tension between the two and build up walls of resentment. 

“Oh, yeah..goodnight.” That was all Harry said as he rolled off Louis and curled as far away on the bed as he could. 

Louis laid there for hours staring up at the ceiling before he pulled out his journal and wrote and wrote and wrote, he knew in the morning or the next time he went to write he would be upset at himself for the inconsiderate sounding words on the pages but he needed to vent somehow, _right_? 

Before closing his eyes he whispered out “Love you.” Thinking Harry was already asleep, but what he didn’t see was the tear drip out of Harry’s eye while he silently mouthed out “I love you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it ♥


	6. What Will Come From This?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 6 ♥   
> Sorry for the wait, this chapter was rather difficult. 
> 
> It may not seem like much, but it was needed to progress the story.   
> I hope you like it! x

Waking up alone was starting to feel habitual to Louis, and after last night he was starting to doubt how much he could successfully help Harry and their relationship go on. Harry was already up and getting ready for his day of classes, Louis could hear the spray of the shower far off. He missed the days where they would only set one alarm on either of their phones and woke up groggily and bitched together about just wanting to stay wrapped up in bed all day. 

Louis peeled himself up off the sheets and wandered to the toilet to brush his teeth, and to maybe see Harry before he sneakily tried to take off. He pushed his ear up against the wooden door before knocking gently. “Can I come in Harry?” 

“I can’t hear you Lou? Open the door.” 

Louis pulled open the door, and stepped into the warm mist taking in the memorable smell of Harry’s shampoo. The air was thick with moisture and the textured glass door of the shower tub was fogged up, so all Louis could see was the thin silhouette of Harry’s body. He walked over and slid the door open and as he did Harry tensed up from washing the product out of his hair and ripped open his eyes just to have the suds fall down into them. Louis watched as Harry debated on bringing his hands up rinse away the burning sensation or bring his arms down to wrap around his body, to shield it. 

“Relax gorgeous, I was just coming in to...” 

“Don’t call me that.” Harry spoke slowly, turning his front away from Louis and crooking his neck up to let the water rinse away the pain. Louis flinched backward, was he not supposed to call Harry ‘gorgeous or beautiful’ or any sort of endearment along those lines while he was going through this? Would that just encourage him to keep his habits up? 

“Harry, please today, let it be okay, and why can’t I call you gorgeous?” Louis kept the shower door open while he kept his eyes fixated on Harry who was still turned away from him, revealing his delicate back that barely had a dip anymore that lead to his small bum. His kneecaps looking more obtrusive, while his thighs appeared even thinner then before, the gap weakening Louis’ stomach. Harry just lifted his head and let the water run down his hair. Louis stripped out of his pants and stepped into the tub, he knew it was probably not what Harry wanted right then, but he knew it’s what he needed. 

“Louis what are you doing?” Harry asked while he cemented his feet to the floor to keep Louis from spinning him around in his arms. 

“Why can’t I tell you how I feel about you?” Louis pushed again, securing his arms tightly around Harry’s waist planting a kiss to his shoulder blade. 

“I’m not gorgeous.”

“You are babe I think tha-” 

“You didn’t think so last night!” Harry surprisingly turned himself to face Louis, bending down to rest his head on Louis’ shoulder. 

Louis rubbed this hands up and down Harry’s back hating the way his middle finger valleyed in and out of every single one of Harry’s vertebrae. He turned his face to kiss Harry again on his warm cheek, Louis wanted to keep Harry in the shower with him all day until they were well past pruned, soaking in the way Harry’s body felt warm against his again even if it was indirectly from the water. 

“No Harry, that’s not what last night was about, you know that babe.” Louis cooed in Harry’s ear, continuously stroking his back and shoulders. “Didn’t you promise me you’d try today?” 

Harry whimpered out gripping on to Louis like he was afraid he might vanish, but reluctantly nodded. 

“Lets stay home today.” 

“W-What?” Harry raised up from Louis to look down into his eyes, pressing their bodies together. “Your job baby?” 

“I’ll call in sick, and -and I’ll even make you thousands of those notecards for the lecture you’ll miss if I have too, I’ll read you’re bloody books and-” Louis was cut off by Harry pressing his wet lips onto Louis’, he could feel the smile forming around his mouth from the both of them and couldn’t help but think maybe today wouldn’t be lost. 

\------

After the two dried each other off and brushed their teeth, they snuggled up on the couch to watch terrible early day time television. Harry laid his head down in Louis’ lap while Louis brought his fingers to sweep through the drying curls, brushing them out. Time went on and neither of them had the stamina to keep their eyes open any longer, falling into a comfortable sleep. 

Louis woke up a couple hours later, a more reasonable time in the morning to be awake, looking down at his lap admiring how Harry had turned in his sleep so his face was nosing into Louis’ lower stomach and his knees were curled up so tightly that they were placed next to the side of where Louis’ hip and bum met. 

“Harry, babe wake up.” Louis singsonged down to his sleeping boyfriend. 

“Good Morning.” Harry smiled up at Louis, and everything in that moment felt perfect for Louis. The sun was starting to shine in through the windows, Harry was curled up lovingly against him, the telly was on and no one was watching it but then Louis’ stomach growled alerting him of his hunger. Harry squirmed uncomfortably at the noise. “I guess it’s time to eat huh?” 

“Yeah it is, what do you want?” Louis was going to try to be supportive today, and work with Harry not against him. As long as Harry was going to put in a conscious effort in trying. 

“Toast.” 

Okay, toast, he could handle that answer, it was nothing extravagant like the seven coarse breakfast platter he could imagine devouring on his own, but toast would do. It was something. 

“Sounds perfect, want me to make it?” 

“Yes, please.” Harry pursed out his lips dramatically, batting his lashes beckoning Louis to bend over and kiss him before getting up to make the simple request. 

Which he did. 

Louis made the toast and panicked on whether he was supposed to put butter, jam, marmalade, peanut butter, or what on top of it. He wasn’t leaving it plan, before all this _stuff_ Harry never ate plan toast, and today wasn’t going to be the day he started too. 

“Harry what do you want on your toast!” Louis hollered from the kitchen, looking down at the condiments like they should just know the answer for him. 

“Nothing!” Harry shouted back causally. 

Louis should have known that was coming, so instead of verbally disagreeing with Harry, he stubbornly spread the jam across the warm toast. Putting peanut butter and butter on his own, smiling down at his work before walking back into the room with Harry and giving him his breakfast. 

“Oh- Lou I asked for plain toast.” Harry looked down at his food with such disgust, his eyebrows scrunched up with narrow eyes. Louis was certain he was going barf up on it. How could the idea of just a thin spread of jam upset a person so much? Harry used to always eat spreads on his toast, and sandwiches. 

“Babe, when did you start eating toast without toppings?” Louis was starting to get that unnerving feeling in the pit of his stomach where he felt helpless, and unsure on what to do. He was about to force feed Harry the bread but that wouldn’t help anything, that would only make him hate Louis, and whatever happens, or needs to be done that is the last thing on the list Louis wants to happen, besides loosing Harry to _this_. He wouldn’t like it or be able to bear it unfortunately, but if it came down to Harry resenting him in order to get healthy, it would have to be.

“Louis look at me baby.” Louis looked up from his lap to stare at Harry who undoubtably placed his meal on the table. He reached over and grabbed Louis’ hands between his own, and interlaced their fingers. “I can’t do this.” Harry spoke without any hints of hesitation, his voice staying strong. 

“Can’t do what?” Louis pulled Harry closer but was only met with restraint, all he wanted was to have Harry close and up into his lap. Harry unlaced one of their hands and placed it under Louis’ chin, rubbing the pad of his thumb over the soft stubble Louis never got around to shaving that morning. 

“I can’t be like how I used to be anymore, okay.” Harry ran is fingers gently down Louis’ throat to rest his hand on his chest, Louis was sure Harry could feel the way his heart was beating far to fast. 

“Harry if this had something to do with what happened between you and _him_ ” Louis had to close his eyes and take in a breath to wash the images he worked up into his head whenever he had to bring up Zayn, “Whatever he told you about yourself was wrong, so not true, you were...are beautiful babe, but you’re going to hurt yourself Harry.” 

Louis was waiting for Harry to jump to defend himself, or to pull apart from him, but he didn’t. Harry just sat there and squeezed Louis’ hand a little tighter. Time felt like it was moving slowly, and Louis’ mind was stuck in overdrive bringing him into a state of uncertainty. Harry’s words burning deeply; Louis couldn’t figure how he could be so sure of himself, how could he know he would never be the way he was... Without trying at least? Harry wasn’t trying in Louis’ eyes, and it made him so incredibly angry. Angry with the situation at hand, and angry with himself for almost falling for Harry’s words, and how they left his mouth so sure and how they were trying to coax him in a false reality. A reality in which Louis would learn to behave in the sense of letting Harry do as he pleases with his health, with his eating. Harry was trying to fool him. 

Everything was all to much for Louis to handle. Tearing himself apart from the words swarming around in his head, fighting an internal debate where it felt like neither side could ever win.

“Baby I’m not going to die or anything silly like that.” There Harry went again with down playing the severity of what was happening. Even going to the depths of showing off his adorable dimple while he smiled to hideaway the lies. “No-no, Lou don’t cry, there’s nothing to be sad about, oh shh come on Louis please stop that.” 

“Why are you lying to me Harry, I j-just don’t know what to do, should we go see somebody? Would that help?” Louis discarded Harry’s grimace while he spoke, pushed up from his sitting spot, and crawled over and sat down on tender small legs trying not to think of how heavy he probably felt. 

“We were having a good day.” Harry didn’t wrap his arms around Louis like he wanted him too, instead brought them up to comb through his hair frustrated. “We were having a good day.” He whispered again loud enough for Louis to catch. 

Louis felt a shiver of cold uncomfortableness wash over him, when Harry still didn’t touch him, rather just let his hands flop down to his sides. He was probably supposed to get up and move back considering the tense air flowing thick between them, but he wasn’t going to. Louis reached up to wipe away the stream marks left upon his cheeks, he blinked a few times to make sure no other stray tears were going to spill. Harry looked sad, and his eyes were becoming unfocused, telling Louis he was probably fighting a battle of his own silently. 

Harry’s jawline was tilted up as he went further into his subconscious, pale and spared from any blemishes. White and far to empty, Louis reached up to place a small warm kiss right under Harry’s chin. It wasn’t long, and it carried no promises of anything more to arise out of it, he just wanted to remind Harry that he was there. 

“Harry?” Louis stressed when Harry didn’t turn his attention back to him. 

“Yeah, sorry, we were having a good day. Look I’ll eat the toast, can we just not go any further into this right now.” Harry’s body language relaxed from its rigid form but it didn’t feel just right to Louis, it felt like Harry was feeling defeated, exhausted from what’s been going on. It should concern him more, it should make Louis feel torn on how upset his boyfriend felt against him, but Harry said he would eat, and Harry’s health was Louis’ first priority. 

“Okay but are you sure you don’t want to talk to som-”

“Louis. Please. Just let me eat the this and we’ll talk later okay?” Harry wrapped one arm around Louis’ waist and used the other to hastily bite down on the now cold bread. Louis watched as Harry used the napkin to wipe away the small bits of jam that would escape on to his lips, rather than just licking them away. Louis had made Harry two pieces of toast for breakfast, and by the time he was finished with the slices, one would assume Louis actually had prepared that multi course plater for him to eat. Harry chewed the bread for so long, Louis swore it must have been liquified by the time it traveled down his throat. 

When Louis tried to get off Harry’s lap half through the rather fatiguing process to watch, Harry’s fingers dug deep into his side. Louis didn’t try again to get up for the rest of the meal, if Harry needed him there while he gagged on certain pieces, or to wipe away the salty drops that dripped off the slope of his nose, Louis would stay. When the plate was finally placed back down on to the table Harry turned his head to kiss Louis. Three sweet kisses, Louis knew it was Harry saying I love you, just without the words.

“I should wash the dishes, considering you made the food.” Harry tapped Louis playfully off his lap and walked away into the kitchen. There were no other dishes in the sink to be washed so when Harry was in there for far to long Louis went to check. 

Harry was standing on a chair wiping down the top of the refrigerator with a wet rag. 

“Babe, what are you doing?” 

“Oh, just cleaning the kitchen, since we took the day off I can clean the flat real good and you can work on your _work_ , without me getting in the way.” Harry smiled down at Louis before going right back to scrubbing. 

“But the flats fairly decent already?” 

“I ate the toast, now please just let me clean?” Harry jumped down and tossed the rag away into the bin. 

Louis wobbled back and forth on the heels of his feet, thinking this was just another way for Harry to isolate himself...before it clicked... Harry ate so he wanted to move. He wanted to keep active, constantly moving would lessen the blow of the toast. Louis was about to call Harry out on it but instead he just walked over and perched his lips out for a kiss, similar to the way Harry had earlier. Harry tilted his head but giggled and kissed him nonetheless. 

“Okay babe, I’ll be on the couch watching telly, until I muster up enough to actually work.” Louis kissed Harry once more before walking off. Cleaning the flat wasn’t asking to run a marathon. Louis set the goal of at least getting Harry to eat dinner, one more meal. Deciding then that they were going to go out to eat, Harry wasn’t going to grow accustomed to eating locked away at home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> no smut. I know. but. it's not the main focus. right. now. bby's. ily.


	7. We need This?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 7 ♥  
> Pretty soon, right?  
> I really hope you enjoy it.  
> Please let me know?  
> ♥

The air was cool, and the sky held a grey haze throughout the day yet that was not stoping the couple from visiting a slew of thrifty shops off of their local city center. The area was quiet and the vehicles that would pass by despite the falsehood of it, seemed to have muted their own noises. What Louis could hear were the sounds of Harry’s laughs, the swing of wind passing between them as their interlaced hands danced while they walked, utmost Louis could hear the sweet coos Harry was whispering into his ear throughout their date. It was a date, and it was going magnificently. Beginning with how Harry had ate a half turkey and lettuce sandwich at the café with little doubt. It took him considerably long to finish the half of sandwich but Louis just smiled, continually skimming their toes together under the small table, while he held the conversation stray from food, to try and distract Harry from thinking about how well he was doing, fearing that it could reverse and spite against the effort that he was making that had Louis incredibly proud. 

They wandered into small shops that were unique and earthy, some were higher classed and Louis would raise his eyebrows at the price tags while Harry happily would place shirts against Louis’ chest to check the fit. Normally Louis would grunt and refuse such an outrageously priced clothing gift, but Harry’s dimples were in full spectrum and his cheeks were pink with merriment that Louis really had no way of turning down the offer. 

The end of the day was approaching and the evening was starting to darken the skies even more lacking any peeks of a sunset. The street shops were beginning to illuminate with hanging lights, and neon signs. Louis’ legs were starting to drag by then and he knew Harry could tell. 

“Can we just go to one more shop?” Harry asked while he stopped the two mid walk bending slightly to kiss Louis’ temple. That earned a giggle from a small child passing with her mother who herself wore a pleasant grin, as she padded her little girl along. 

“Of course love, where to?” Louis wrapped his arm around the back of Harry’s waist and stroked idly at his sides as he allowed Harry to lead them in the direction of whatever shop was the destination. The walk was short, and when they stopped in front of the glass doors that had white holiday lights lining them Louis awed and gripped Harry a little tighter when they entered.

All over there were different styles of clothing and artwork stored closely together on the hangers and walls. Large and small coloured tapestries decorating a section of a far off wall, they were gorgeous with hand sewn designs and patterns flowing eloquently though the fabrics. This store wasn’t the most posh or popular in its sense but it was special. Louis subconsciously held his wrist while Harry lead him to the jewelry portion of the shop. 

“Remember these?” Harry held up a bunch of colourful weaved bracelets out for Louis to see. 

“How could I forget babe.” Louis flushed when he felt the light touch of Harry’s cold fingertips take his wrist from his own grasp. Harry’s fingers are always cold now, but with days like today they were ought to warm up quickly. Louis hoped at least. 

“I want to wear these again. It can be a sign of...I don’t know, our love not going for the worst. I know that’s cheesy but things have been off lately Lou, and I need you to know that no matter what happens or what has happened, I love you baby.” Harry looked away for the beginning but held eye contact with Louis as he finished. Harry’s eyes turned glossy and even in the dim lit shop Louis knew he was being honest, the sincerity in his voice was uncanny, and Louis felt his heart speed up. “Lets get different colours this time though. For change.” Harry rubbed his thumb on the under side of Louis’ wrist before letting it go to find the colour bracelet he wanted. 

 

Louis remembered back when they had got their first set of matching bracelets. His was green and Harry’s was blue. Harry thought it was cute. It was sappy, but Louis couldn’t argue. They were on their first date as an official couple and had just finished lunch at a rather pricy bistro that had Louis cringing when the bill came back. He wasn’t as aware of Harry’s parents wealthiness at the time so he denied Harry’s pleas to help pay. They walked into the store for laughs and ended up falling in love with the lightness, the culture and with the whole feel of the place. Louis wore his bracelet until the day he accidentally ripped the string tie when he had bent over to zip his work bag. Shredding the material. Harry had been a little bummed at the news but nothing like Louis was. Pathetically, it made him rather sad, and when he saw Harry’s he would whine and spill out apologies so Harry wouldn’t think he just didn’t like the bracelet or didn’t want to wear it. 

A few weeks later Harry came to Louis with a pout holding out his broken bracelet that he said was ruined when he turned a corner to fast and it got caught to the cabinet handle. Louis still thinks Harry broke his on purpose to make him happy. Harry still has both their broken bracelets to this day in a small box on his bureau. 

“Alright, well I’ll get this light blue one. I like it- do you?” Louis pulled it up from the messy pile, showing it off to Harry, who nodded happily. 

“What colour should mine be?” There were bunches of reds and yellows, a few orange and purple ones but what caught Louis eye was a rather adorable pink one that had an identical pattern woven in to it as his own. He held it up for Harry to see. “Lou... It’s pink.” 

“I know, but it matches mine and it’s the only one that does. Come on babe think of the symbolical reasons behind that.” Louis pushed, pursing his lips into a small faux frown to help persuade Harry. 

“Fine, but only for the symbolism, not because of the colour, but it is a better shade of pink them some. It’s soft.” Harry agreed picking it up and heading toward the counter. 

“You’re soft.” Louis couldn’t resist himself. 

“That was mean Lou.” Harry playfully stuck is tongue out at Louis while he grabbed his bracelet from him to pay the woman behind the counter. Louis wrapped both his arms around Harry’s narrow waist as he waited for the exchange to finish. It bothered him with how far he could reach up his forearm with the opposite hand. When they were headed back out and toward Louis’ car Harry stopped them so they could put each others bracelets on. They kissed afterward on the passenger side door for a while before Louis opened it up for Harry to settle in. 

“Tonight was amazing Haz, I had...It was just the best night we’ve had in a while.” Louis said as he turned back to shut and lock the door to their flat. Harry was standing in front of him with big cheerful eyes. The flat was overly warm approaching uncomfortable but Louis knew that was how Harry liked it for now. 

“It was perfect Lou. So perfect, and I want to thank you for everything.” Harry went forward and hugged Louis, placing sweet kisses to his the crook of his neck.”I know this isn’t easy.” 

Louis kept it at that. Harry was aware of the difficulties in this situation, how it must effect Louis and that meant the world to him. When Harry was in denial was when Louis was the most lost, similar to the time around a week back when they had gone out for dinner. Harry had completely refused to eat his meal after promising that he would. Returning home to stomp into the bedroom and cuss Louis out for being a control freak from behind the wooden door. 

“Yeah today was perfect.” Louis kissed Harry leading him into the kitchen. This was risky territory, unstable. Some days this was were the two would share loving kisses between bites while Louis would help feed Harry when he needed it. This was where they would share tears while pushing plates between one another, while the salty drops would fall into the silverware when Harry would finally muster up enough to eat. This was also where they would argue, and scream and tell each other off. Dishes often being thrown at the wall- the crashing barely audible over their yelling. 

Louis stopped at the island and turned to look at Harry whose face looked defeated as it often did when entering the room. But it didn’t look uncooperative. “What do you want for dinner?” Louis was gentle while he spoke, not wanting to set off Harry, who was quite the ticking time bomb lately. 

“Chicken soup?” Louis could see the shame Harry felt when he was about to eat. As though he was giving up, being weak. 

“With bread?” Soup wasn’t enough, Louis was aware it _was_ something, but it wasn’t enough with what Harry’s had ate today. Not enough to get him back on track. 

“No thanks.”

“Harry please.” Harry bit down on his lip turning the flesh white rimmed and painful looking. He took in a few sharp breaths, shaking his head ‘no’ before opening his eyes and looking into Louis’. Louis’ lips were pulled into a hopeful smile, pleading Harry silently to change his mind. Today couldn’t be ruined. 

“With bread.” Harry deadpanned as he squeezed Louis’ hand before walking to take a seat at the island. Louis had to hold in all the excitement that was trying so hard to erupt from within him. He cooked the canned soup and didn’t even bother buttering the bread- just so happy with Harry agreeing to eat the starch. The two ate side by side, elbows touching lightly. Louis peeked out of the corner of his eye as Harry debated on dipping the bread into the warm soup. Eventually Harry did finish the bread even before the soup, right as the last bite of it was swallowed he turned to Louis; who knew he was looking for praise. 

“So proud of you babe, are you going to finish your soup?” Harry’s eyes gave off the lightest of sparkles before they were turing red and his lips were beginning to tremble. Louis wanted so badly to tell him that he didn’t need to finish, but that wasn’t an option. Instead he tilted toward Harry and nosed at his cheek before kissing it. “You’re almost done sweetheart.” 

“But I’m full Lou, my belly hurts.” Harry looked down at the now presumably chilled liquid with narrowed eyes when Louis didn’t say anything back to him. He just picked up his spoon and splashed shallowly at the soup a few times while tears streaked down his face. Louis saw the determination that was starting to build up in Harry’s features, he remained quiet and watch Harry take spoonful after spoonful until the bowl was empty besides a small opaque area of broth settling in the center. Louis was about to compliment Harry but his breath was cut short when Harry leaned in and pressed their mouths together eagerly. Their kisses were open mouthed and desperate, so desperate that Harry slid himself off his stool to push himself closer in between the open v-shape of Louis’ legs. “I love you, I really fucking love you.” 

Louis was taken back by the Harry’s brassy words of affection that were pitifully sobbed out against his lips. “I love you too.” 

Louis straightened himself up and detached from Harrys clawing hands that were bunched up tightly to the fabric of his shirt. Harry looked confused before Louis grabbed his waist and whispered into his ear “lets go to bed,” and with that Louis secured his arms tightly around Harry and hoisted him up so his legs could wrap around his waist. 

It was easier done then it used to be. 

Louis tried his best to navigate into their bedroom without knocking Harry against any obstacles in their way. Harry was sucking lovebites into Louis’ neck as Louis dropped him down on to the bed only to climb right over him. Louis tugged off his own shirt throwing it to be forgotten somewhere on the floor. Harry’s hands maneuvered sneakily between their bodies and started to unclasp the button to Louis’ jeans, reaching in and running his hand over Louis. He was becoming achingly hard from the pressure Harry was pushing on him and the way his jeans were constricting him in.

“Take these off.” Harry sighed while he squeezed a little harder on Louis before pulling his hand out. Louis followed up, and took off his jeans and underwear all at once. When looking back down at Harry he had also wiggled out of his jeans but everything else was still clad on him. Their mouths met simultaneously as Harry’s hand went for Louis’ cock, stroking slow and teasingly. “I want to ride you.”

Louis pulsed into Harrys hand as he was still moving delicately around him. Harry hadn’t wanted expose himself like that to Louis in a long time, and Louis had to restrain himself from coming to soon just from the thought. 

“Yeah yeah babe please.” Louis’ mind was already fogging with arousal that he almost hadn’t notice Harry make no intentions to move from where he was laid back against the sheets. “You don’t have to Haz, if you’re not comfortable.” 

“I want too.” Harry spoke quietly as he pushed out from underneath Louis, waiting for him to turn over onto his back. Louis watched patiently as Harry toyed with the hem of his own shirt before pulling it up over his head and placing it next to Louis’ hips on the bed. Harry stayed still for a moment biting his lip as he raised up from his knees to be standing completely over Louis, he closed his eyes while taking off his briefs. 

Louis’ twitched from the view he had of Harry. Despite his weight loss Harry was always beautiful to Louis’, and moments like these made him feel that they were going to be able to work through this together. Harry opened his eyes as he lowered himself back down so he was on his knees in the space between Louis’ legs. His shoulders were slumped forward with uncertainty and his chest was light and sensitive looking. Harry bent forward to place a small kitten lick to the tip of Louis strained cock, taking up the precum in his mouth. Louis connected their eyes while Harry sunk down his shaft, his full pink lips stretching as he furthered Louis in to his throat. After a quicker time then Louis would have liked he had to reach into Harry’s curls to tell him to come up. 

Harry smiled lightly and it would have looked so innocent if his lips weren’t so swollen along with the spit falling off his chin. He reached up over Louis causing their dicks to rub up against each others and Louis couldn’t help but drop his head back into the pillows and moan. Harry straddled over Louis mid section with the lube bottle opened in his hand. 

“Sit up some more Lou.” Louis used his elbows to pull himself up and grab the bottle out of Harry’s hand. They were chest to chest and the kisses were desperate again. Louis fumbled with the bottle as he poured a generous amount on to his fingers. Harry flopped his forehead down to rest on Louis’ shoulder when he felt the coated fingers circle around his hole. Louis placed one finger in without any stalling, pushing it in and out experimentally a few times before bringing the second finger in the tight heat to begin scissoring Harry open. Harry was mewling and begging Louis to let him sit back on his cock but Louis could feel by how tight Harry was, it would hurt and he needed more prep. 

“Not yet, beautiful.” When he added in the third finger he teased inside Harry until he found the right spot that had Harry biting down onto his skin. Pushing his bum backdown into the upward thrust of Louis’ fingers. A few more quick shoves inside and Louis pulled out taking the remaining moisture from his hand and fingers to coat his own cock up the best he could before Harry was crawling backward and grabbing at him to line up and push down. 

Once Harry was seated down all the way to the base of Louis cock he took a minute to adjust, rubbing his hands up and down the back of Louis’ neck, keeping him close. When Harry started to move it was slow and more of just rocking his hips against Louis, pressing his cock into Louis’ lower abdomen, and when the friction started to become to much Harry started to pick up his pace. Louis guided Harry’s hips up and down with every time Harry rose his thighs. Both there heads tilting backward in ecstasy as their climaxes were approaching. 

“Babe..Babe, I-I really need you to come, can you come for me?” Louis strained, his words coming out fast and high pitched. Everything was so much, the way their day had started out to the way Harry found the courage to finish his dinner. When he had disregard his vulnerability and stripped down in front of Louis to present himself bare and open up against him. To how right then he was moaning out huskily “Yes baby, I’m gonna come h-help me.” 

Louis brought his right hand between their sweaty bodies and down to Harry’s bobbing cock and took hold of it, pumping him wildly until Harry was whining out Louis’ name and releasing into his fist and onto his chest. Harry was shivering and clenching from his orgasm but brought himself to continue riding until Louis was filling him up with his warm come. 

They both stayed wrapped around each other until Harry’s body cooled down signaling Louis to pull out. He grabbed blindly at Harry’s shirt that was still placed on the bed and rubbed down his chest, then reaching behind Harry who was slumped against him to get the trail that was leaking down his thighs. Bringing the fabric up to wipe gently at Harry’s hole that was still so sensitive causing a small sob to escape his lips against Louis’ chest. Louis rolled them over to their sides, pulling the duvet up over them. Harry was still latched to his body, and the covers were making him ridiculously hot but Harry was already cooled down and needed the warmth, so he dealt with it. 

“Goodnight baby.” Harry peeked his head up from the comfort of the crook of Louis’ neck and kissed him goodnight before tucking away again. 

“Goodnight, I love you.” 

“I love you too.” It was hard to comprehend from the way Harry was positioned but Louis heard it nonetheless, allowing sleep to take him easily.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you like it?  
> I felt a little sobby...not a real word but oh well.  
> let me know bby's ♥


	8. For now, I'll take it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my goodness over a month and I am sorry!   
> But here it is, and it was hard to write but hopefully I will try and take less time for the next update.   
> Angst is ahead and I couldn't resist some fluff.   
> Let me know bbys ♥

It was not easy. 

Every time there was an impelling moment in which it seemed Harry was gut driven in recovering, and developing a proper healthy routine; it would end within a few days at tops. Today was no exception Harry was being fussy with the food and refused to eat in the early morning, excusing himself off from it due to a sore throat and opting Louis to make him some warm tea instead. Louis had plans for today and he needed Harry happy so he wouldn’t suspect anything out of the ordinary. Kissing Harry sweetly goodbye with the words of errands to run and promises to return later in the day, Louis was off and unprepared for the what may lay ahead. 

Louis knew it was time to go and confront Zayn on his nasty, revolting little game he held with Harry. Louis had tried to call off and on, but was always forwarded to his once best mates, voicemail. He also hadn’t been showing up to work since he was found out. Zayn was a valuable worker, and the superior to many of the other employees, including Louis himself. So one day Louis went straight to the companies head and asked where his “Supervisor” has been? He was given the small reply of “Mr. Malik has decided to work from home, do to some personal affairs.” 

Zayn was scared of the repercussions. Louis wasn’t daft, and on three separate occasions Louis had driven to Zayn’s place to see he got a piece of what he deserved, but despite how much Louis loved Harry, how much he cared for him and would do absolutely anything for and if it were anyone else he would have jumped to. Zayn _was_ Louis’ everything, and throughout the years of Zayn exceeding in his academia, despite Louis’ forgoing Uni, the two stayed close. When nobody was there for Louis to vent to, or when he needed a simple reality check to remind him that he wasn’t worthless...well Zayn was always there. Zayn was the reason Louis was able to get the job he had, was able to afford the flat with Harry. 

However, Harry was the one in the end who got wronged far more then anyone else. He was forcing himself to stay quiet and endure the abuse, and it was for Louis sake. He was trying to protect Louis. 

It was Louis’ turn to protect, and fight for Harry. 

But how?

How did all this happen? How could someone he trusted with his own life defile the love of his. How could his best mate from primary years betray their friendship this unforgettably. 

How was Louis to confront the issue- he had no idea on how to approach his now ex best mate. And to think Harry almost became the ex in Louis’ life. 

\-----

The day was becoming dusky and grey when Louis realised just how long he had been sitting in his car outside on the opposite side of the street to Zayn’s home. He knew that the man was home from having seen him adjust his blinds when the sun was pouring strong and orange in through the open sections. Louis tried desperately to clear his head and prepare some sort of a draft of words he can go on when Zayn opens his door or when he pushes his way through. Yet nothing was Louis able to muster up, nothing coherent at least. 

The walk from his car, across the way to the moderately large pale creme coloured home felt terribly long for Louis, while he fiddled with the loose stray denim strings on the inner lining of his pockets in which his dainty hands were shoved into.   
When it came time to actually release his hand from his pocket and bring it to lift the door knock the chill from the cool evening air sent shivers from the knuckles of his hand to the dip of his spine. All the images and imaginings of going and beating the living hell out of Zayn, and dipping his fingers under an electric cleaver were becoming faint and farfetched, making Louis feel like a bloody cowered as he waited for the door to open. Louis could hear some muffled movements from behind the heavy door but it was never opened. 

“Zayn open the door I know you are home and I can hear you moving about.” Louis kept his voice cool and calm trying to provoke the lad to open the door and face him. Moments passed and the door remained closed and Louis was beginning to loose it, banging constantly and shouting for Zayn to let him in. 

Turning around to face the neighbouring house while his fingers laced up into his feathering hair in frustration Louis spotted the flower pot on the small round glass table shoved tastefully in the small porch corner. Under that pot is a spare key and Louis was sure using a key doesn't consist of breaking and entering- just entering. 

As Louis picked the small crimson pottery pot to retrieve the key, the door from behind him opened causing him to stiffen uncomfortably and turn quickly in preparation of an attack. There was no attack, no household object in place of a weapon ready whack him over the head, instead it was just Zayn in a pair of brown joggers and a large blue jumper standing timidly under the front threshold. Over weekends or vacations away from work Zayn was known to grow a few days worth of scruff around his jaw but here, now there was days and weeks worth of unkept facial hair. The coarse black hairs were packed heavily around his jaw and upper lip, meeting with the tip ends of his side burns. The lad looked like a tired lumber workman. 

“You remembered the key, I guess it’s no use trying to keep you out any longer.” The flat monotone of Zayn’s voice went hand in hand with his dreary appearance.

“We need to talk.” Was all Louis could spit out, it wasn’t harsh or venomous, rather more questioningly. 

“Come in.” Keeping the door open for Louis’ benefit Zayn turned and walked back into the kitchen area of his home as Louis followed behind. 

The atmosphere was tense and the air was thick with uncertainty. Zayn hunched in the corner near the refrigerator holding his arms around his middle unable to bring his eyes to meet Louis’. 

“You sick bastard!” Louis screamed with all the air in his lungs allowed, slamming a fist down on the stainless steal island, ignoring the flooding pain awakening his nerves. “How could you do that to me? How could you do that to Harry, how could you hurt him like that?” The second half of Louis conviction to his childhood friend came out soft and trembly. 

Louis watched in disbelief as Zayn just stayed quiet with his eyes closed with the lids directed toward the floor. 

“Zayn fucking answer me!” Louis couldn’t control it any longer and the poison dripping from his tongue stung Zayn into opening his eyes but still remaining silent for a few more monotonous minutes. 

“I think you should leave now Louis.” There wasn’t an once of remorse shining through, just the heartless deadpanned tone. 

Before Louis could even comprehend what his body was doing, he was surging forward and grabbing Zayn tightly around the collar of his jumper and forcefully thrashing him back into the cold steel fridge door. Zayn was taller then Louis, but that didn’t deem he was necessarily stronger. By no means was Louis a hidden brut but he was athletic and he did hold strength, despite the lack of height. 

“I’m not going to pity you here mate just because you look like a dying piece of shit.” Louis whispered centimeters away from Zayn’s ear, while his hands remained secure in holding the taller lad back. 

Zayn tried to push Louis off but the attempt was pathetic, it was weak and lacking any sort of real conviction in wanting to get Louis off. Tears began to spew down his tan cheeks to land unforgivably into his wild beard and on to Louis forearm. The tears ran silent for a few brief seconds until the sobbing escaped and Zayn began to thrash against himself. Shaking and wobbling at the knees and that’s when Louis realised that he was the reason Zayn was still standing and hadn’t collapsed to the floor. 

Louis let go. 

Zayn dropped like a sack of marbles leaving Louis towering over him while he wallowed on the tiles. 

“Zayn you are so disgusting do you understand that?” Louis scoffed downwardly kicking away the fingers that where grabbing at his ankle, “Answer me.” 

“Yes, god yes Louis I understand.” Zayn was chocking on his own sobs so harshly his words were almost inaudible.

This was not happening how it was supposed to pan out. Louis was meant to go in there kick some ass, scream at the worthlessness in front of him and storm out of there with threats to call the police if Zayn ever even looked at Harry ever again, but that wasn’t how it was working out. Zayn was crying on the floor agreeing to Louis’ degrading words and trying so hardly to hold on to Louis’ leg, like it was some sort of safety. 

“I’m so sorry Louis so sorry! P-Please believe me. I owe you, and -” 

“No Zayn you don’t owe me, you owe Harry but you will never repay him for what you did. You took advantage of him, knowing damn well how he felt about me and my job and how he feels so bad how I’m not as _fucking fortunate_ as him, and how I need my job to _live_ and how I would be nothing since I didn’t go off to Uni, and without you Zayn I wouldn’t have my bloody job!” Louis was wailing off his own insecurities while laying it out to Zayn and he knew that he needed to stop. 

“Louis I’m just sort of in a bad place right now-” Zayn started while lifting himself up off the floor and finally making eye contact with Louis who was just fuming with anger. 

“I. Don’t. Care! I don’t care what sort of bad place you are in Zayn or what is happening to you! You hurt Harry in more ways then one- he doesn’t eat, he doesn’t respect himself anymore and for you having done that I hope you rot in hell.” 

Seeing “red” was an understatement Louis was so upset and torn apart that he selfishly wanted to curl up into a small ball and cry away for not knowing how to handle the situation at hand, but he needed to get home to Harry and make sure he was doing alright and to get some food in him. It had been hours since he had left their flat that Sunday morning and Harry had refused to eat breakfast with promises to eat lunch that Louis was sure he didn’t, and it was supper time now and he was surely going to eat. 

It wasn’t an option. 

“I’m still your boss...” Zayn’s lowered pitch breaking Louis from his own mind. 

“Really Zayn, Really? Is that what this is come to now, well fine then, you are pathetic and if you want to fire me then so be it.” Louis had it, this was all to much for today and it was time to leave, and as he turned to exit the front door he heard his old friend murmur out ‘this isn’t over Louis.’ 

Louis ignored the last statement the best he could, he wasn’t going to mention it to Harry, it would only worry him and that was the last thing on Louis’ list he wanted to do. It wasn’t the long of a journey back to their flat- which he couldn’t help but think he may have to take Harry up on his charity offers soon to keep up with the rent if Zayn’s threats were true. 

\-----

“I’m home babe!” Louis yelled echoing his voice off the walls of the common room entrance. The flat was immaculately clean and practically shining in the places where the lamp light would hit the polished surfaces. 

“Oh Lou!” Harry flung himself out from the kitchen way and into Louis’ arms. He was warm and clean and smelled like his expensive seaweed infused shampoo mixed with something citrusy. Louis held him close running his palm up and down Harry’s feeble back that was covered by a think mossy coloured t shirt. 

“You worried me Louis, I called you a few hours ago and you didn’t pick up, you’ve been gone rather long baby.” Louis could tell Harry was trying to seem causal in a way, but the undertones of real concern were there. 

“Sorry love I got caught up in some things but every things going to be okay, yeah?” Louis coaxed Harry out of his arms and nosed playfully up at his cheek, just to see him smile. 

“Yeah you’re right, I made lemon pepper chicken and rice for dinner.” Harry did smile and his dimples were showing and his cheeks were up and Louis’ heart flip flopped around quickly. He loved this boy more than anything, and it was a little scary but nothing that would stop him from taking care of Harry and making sure he knew just how beautiful he was and how much Louis cared for him. 

Harry was a forever sort of person, and Louis was fine with that. 

The kitchen smelled brilliant as usual when Harry would cook and it had Louis’ mouth watering, until he had replayed Harrys words in his head. 

“You’re not just eating rice for dinner, right? I mean there has to be something you can eat with it Ha-” 

“Lou, Louis calm down.” Harry chuckled lightly, “I am going to eat the chicken as well, like you said the other day I need the protein to regain some strength and just maybe after a bit I’ll go back to not eating meat. 

“I’m so proud of you Harry, now lets eat.” Louis tried not to sound too excited by Harry’s decision to eat the chicken along with the rest of the meal because when he got overly proud sometimes it would spoof Harry into rethinking something and not eating at all. 

The meal passed slow as usual, something Louis was finding himself get more and more used to. He even began eating more slowly and placing his silverware down more to drink and it actually helped. It helped Harry feel less pressure when Louis would finish so much faster, in some cases making Harry panic and say he was done and throwing more then half of his food away. Louis still finished well before Harry but nothing that was having the younger lad over think. 

Louis watched as Harry ate his little bites of food and drink his water for about and hour until he was finished. The two shared smiles when Harry placed down his fork and sipped up the remainder of his drink. He knew this may not last into tomorrow or that it was the end to the struggles with Harry’s recovery but it was the perfect way to start the end his crazy day. 

The dishes were washed and dried in their team fashion before they decided to call it an early night and head to their bedroom. Harry cuddled right up into Louis while the telly played a made for television movie and during the rather dull parts the two would kiss and whisper without reason cute promises of forever, and getting better before the only noise left in the room was the small exhale of breaths from the both of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you like it? Sorry for those you expect smut all the time :p <3 xx


	9. I do not understand?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 9♥  
> Sorry for the delay I had to finish uni finals and presentations-  
> that it took a toll on my writing time. 
> 
> Hope you like the chapter bbys.  
> Let me know? xx  
> ♥
> 
> POV starts in Harry's just for some more insight

The air was terribly nippy, the breeze that was whipping through the crack in their bedroom window was cold enough to stir Harry awake. His upper body was bare causing his flesh to pucker and goose up. Shadows of thick grey smothered all the surfaces in the room, there were small peeks of light breaking from the moon though it was nothing substantial. Harry pulled himself up to lean over Louis to reach and stop the draft, having to bump his bent knees against Louis’ fairly warm stomach. 

“Harry what are you doing?” Louis grumbled out, swatting lightly at his boyfriends thin legs, barely conscious. 

Harry quickly furthered his stretch and shut the window that was causing him the discomfort. 

“Sorry baby, didn’t mean to wake you. Just cold.” Harry laid back down, grabbing the excess bulk of the duvet and curling back into to fetal position with his back to Louis. 

Instantaneous warmth was not panning out for Harry. His body even in the tight fitted position it was in, was not building up enough heat to radiate out and warm him properly to fall back to sleep. After a few short minutes of still feeling the same, Harry’s body began to react with feverish styled shivers. His delicate frame trembling in attempts to stay warm. Jumping, a tad startled when he felt a strong tightness wrap around his middle, and the warmth of Louis’ body pressing up against his back. It was similar to the feeling of when you come in from being out for a long period in the icy cold snow and once you step a foot into a heated room and your fingers tingled back to life around a steaming cuppa, while your nose thaws from above. Harry was feeling all that perfect content from having Louis so secure around him, keeping him not only warm, but truly safe. 

A gentle thumb padded slowly back and forth along Harry’s dainty hip, whiling him into an easy pattern to fall back to sleep peacefully. He was back to rest before he could even feel the finger drain out slowly.  
Hours later when the sun had started to pierce through the darkness, and cast the creamiest of orange hues in to the bedroom, Harry’s mobile began to shriek off, pulling the couple awake but not separating their bodies even while Harry reached out to turn off the horrid sound. 

“Good morning Lou.” Harry yawned out not really caring how unattractive it probably appeared to the older male laying down next to him. 

Louis only grunted out inaudible sour sounds and tightened his grip around Harry. 

“Come on love you need to get up and get ready for work.” Harry giggled out, trying to budge out from underneath the weight of Louis’ pressured arm. 

There were moments when Harry was comfortable being bare or partially like he was now. Most of the time being when he was bathing or going to bed with Louis but now while standing only in his tight white underwear Harry grabbed at his waist, crossing his arms protectively until he found his clothes and walked off to get washed up. It was most definitely not that Harry feared cruel words or disgusted looks by Louis, but rather the unknown of what Louis was not expressing physically or verbally. Louis always told Harry how beautiful he was, and how when he regained himself back into a healthy lifestyle, mentally and for his body that Harry was going to be right back to being the bees knees. Back to being perfect. 

Harry couldn’t help himself, when he would hear these things from Louis it felt oddly similar to when he eats. He knows it’s healthy, it’s beneficial and it makes him feel good. Well, good until he regrets it, knows it’s really disgusting. Louis would never hurt Harry, and he knows that- but Harry feels he knows better, he knows that Louis is just trying to keep him alive, and that he must really look at Harry with as much silent disgust as he does himself. 

Louis is mistaken and it makes Harry sad. Harry is very capable now in understanding if he does not intake enough nutrients he will in fact get sick and presumably die, but he has no intentions on dying, and leaving Louis alone. He cherishes being in love, in the relationship he’s got; especially now that Zayn is in the open and Louis is fully aware of just how much Harry cares about their progression in life together as a couple. Louis just doesn’t know that he is actually beginning to force Harry to eat too much and the progress he thinks he is instating, he is actually burying. Harry understands that without the help of his boyfriend that he could be very sick right now, he lost his cool- was thinking irrationally then. Now though Harry can see that he just needs to make sure he is eating enough within the day to try and not pass out, because if he is standing and able to get about, he is doing fine. Soon Louis will realise that. 

Harry had just finishing toweling off and getting dressed for his classes when Louis stumbled into the toilet to go pee and brush his teeth. He looked gorgeous for just waking up and rolling out of bed. Louis was so golden and tousled and just everything warm and comforting Harry loved. His face was covered in a days worth of scurf and his eyes were hooded with sleep and Harry wanted so badly to just take him right back to bed only to wake him up to ware him right back into sleepiness. Louis was Harry’s rock, but he was also mysterious to him in the way of how he is able to hide so well the disgust he must see, and blind Harry with affection. 

Harry didn’t doubt Louis’ love, just his sincerity with the complements while he was shoving food down his throat to ‘get better.’ Poor Louis wasn’t seeing the disgrace he was building, thankfully Harry felt he could compromise for it. 

“Good morning Lou.” Harry greeted while Louis spat out the remainder of his daily mouth rinse. Bending down to place a simple kiss to side of Louis minty scented lips. 

Louis stretched back raising his toned arms above his head, arching his back to release any morning tense pressure built in his spine. After the relieving pop of the cracking matter Louis lowered his arms to wrap them around Harry’s neck and placed a proper kiss to his lips. 

“Morning love, you look exceptionally hot today.” Louis spoke slowly, raising up a bit to slide his teethe against the part of Harry’s collar bone that was exposed, kissing away any sting. 

“Thanks so do you baby.” Harry acknowledged, running his hand down Louis’ chest going lower until his hand was clasped over Louis cock, only the thin material of his boxers separating skin to skin. 

Louis involuntarily bucked his hips forward into Harry’s big hand, coping a semi incredibly fast. Harry bent forward breathing warmly into Louis’ neck in sync with his hand rubbing up the hardening length. They didn’t have much time considering Louis was still clad in his bed clothes and Harry had to print out an assignment but that didn’t stop Harry from lowering himself down onto his knees and using the palms of his hands to knead up Louis’ thick thighs, while he nuzzled his face into Louis’ groin, able to feel him harden against his cheek. 

Once he felt the small hand twirl into his hair he made a show of looking up at his man and using quick fingers to pull down the elastic material, revealing a propped cock bouncing up in the direction of Harry’s mouth. 

There wasn’t very much time for foreplay so Harry wet his lips and sunk down as far as he could in one plummet. Almost meeting his lips with the base of Louis cock that was fattening up in Harry’s already very full throat. He stayed down there as long as his lungs would allow, hallowing his cheeks to only raise up shallowly before sinking back down. 

When Louis was close and Harry could tell he stuck his own hand down his pants and began jacking off his cock with much more speed then his mouth was moving. The moans that were escaping his full lips caused drops of saliva to fall from the sides of his mouth and once Louis tightened up and signaled his climax, Harry pumped himself so hard it almost hurt. Causing the two to almost come simultaneously.  
\------

Louis walked into work feeling exceptionally giddy considering the breathtaking orgasm he had just under an hour ago. The way Harry had worked him into a mess that early in the morning was unbelievable. Louis would never no matter how long the two were together (and hopefully that was an almost indefinite period) get tired of seeing those huge green eyes stare up at him while Harry had his mouth spread over his cock, lips wet and reddening with every suck. 

“Louis how lovely to see you this morning, would you mind coming to my office for a moment?” The voice pulled Louis from his thoughts, which was probably a blessing, taking into account the warm pull that was sparking up within him. Everything was fine, Louis’ morning was starting off outstanding but turning around and seeing Zayn back at work looking nothing like he did the last time Louis had seen him. Suit perfectly pressed, the abundant amount of facial hair shaven clean, hair styled pristinely and even his shoes were buffed and shinning. 

“Z-Zayn, I wasn’t...” Louis froze. 

“Five minutes Mr. Tomlinson, in my office.” Zayn’s voice was professional, his eyes told of something else. 

Louis watched as Zayn walked away, he hadn’t needed to desperately do anything at that moment so Louis just huffed in some air and followed his boss. The walk was shorter than it felt usually, and it seemed as though the colleagues that were around watched with a sense of unusual curiosity. It wasn’t like Louis never went to Zayn’s office before- the two were friends, and they did try their hardest to keep it as professional as they could at work, given that Zayn was indeed Louis’ superior. It slipped sometimes, people hearing too much playful banter or whatnot and occasionally Louis would receive flack about it. 

Once both were in the room enclosed within the fogged glass Zayn sat behind his desk and motioned for Louis to take the opposing seat. 

“Your works been lacking creativity lately Louis.” Zayn critiqued very matter of fact like. Opening up a manila folder and thumbing through the pieces. 

Louis hadn’t been doing any worse as of lately? His work if anything had been much more passionate, vibrant and extremely creative! Zayn was pulling this from his ass, and it made Louis’ blood evaporate from its boiling point, sitting in the same room as that putrid man gave Louis raging anger but having to listen to this bullshit about his work put him over. 

“Excuse me? My work is just fine, and no one has mentioned any sort of regard to it as you are since you’ve been gone and if anything I’ve received compliments Zayn.” Louis crossed his legs and curled his fingers into a claw along the bulb end of the chair arms he was sitting in. 

“It’s lackluster Mr. Tomlinson, and if you do not improve on the assignment you will be receiving tomorrow then unfortunately I’ll have to let you go. A company is only as strong as its weakest link.” With a slam to the envelope Zayn glared smugly over to Louis signaling he could leave. 

Louis sat there, staring back at the male in front of him with his mischievous smile and raised brows, silent threats pouring from his demeanor. Zayn was holding his power over Louis in almost the most disgusting way he could. 

“You can leave now _mate_ ” Zayn hissed sarcastically. 

The rest of Louis’ day was filled with a loss of ideas, and walking on eggshells. He was not scared of Zayn but worried about Zayn taking away his job. Without his job Louis wouldn’t be able to afford his rent, and other necessities. He wouldn’t be able to survive. 

What would tomorrows “assignment” entail? Would it be an impossibly tasked assignment. Would it be an embarrassment or what? The clouding and stress was sure to be raising Louis’ blood pressure to a dangerous level. He was sweating and cussing under his breath at the smallest of mistakes. His chest would tighten at every minor thought of having to tell Harry, or even thinking about not telling him until afterward. Louis decided after a long internal dilemma that he would have to inform Harry of the ridiculous assignment Zayn would be giving him just for safety incase Louis does not appease Zayn and he loose his job. 

When Louis arrived home and was standing outside his flats door, he held his hands over his eyes, pulling down the skin trying to relieve any stress he could before having to go inside. 

It didn’t work. 

“Hi gorgeous.” The happiness in Harry’s greeting was almost upsetting. It made Louis emotional with warm angry heat. He just wanted to go to bed and forget about everything that has happened. All the way back until the first time he saw Harry, so he could see the signs he missed so he could protect him from Zayn. So he could move them somewhere he wouldn’t be able to hurt either of them like he was doing now. 

It must have taken Louis to long to respond; being caught up in all the “what if?” thoughts and disappointments that Harry had pulled him into a hug and was petting his head asking ‘are you okay Lou?’ 

Louis tried to pull himself together and hug Harry back but when he felt his arms and hands tie around Harry, his fingers grazed his ribs from behind and the dip in his lower back was far to prominent and Louis just lost it. The tears forming fat and dripping salty streaks down his cheeks till Harry pulled his head into his chest completely confused. Louis was soaking his boyfriends shirt but that was the last thing on his mind, all he could feel was skin and bones covered by a long sleeved v-neck. He had failed Harry, how had he not been able to get him well, how did he let this happen? It was all to much and Louis had never felt like such a fool in his life. So he did what the only thing he thought he could do. He ran into their bedroom and locked the door like a child. 

The knocking and pleas for Louis to open the door were constant and all Louis did was sob into Harry’s pillow. The smell was the only thing that was comforting. It hadn’t changed and it was the remedy for his laboured breathing. 

“Louis, love please let me in?” Harry repeated for what seemed like the billionth time. 

Louis just ignored it taking in another whiff of the aroma emitting from deep within the pillow. 

It wasn’t until Harry’s “Louis...Hi baby, I’m eating this sandwich right now at the door. It’s peanut butter and jelly. I hadn’t meant to upset you, I’ve been selfish lately I’m sorry Lou, so so sorry.” There were small pauses between words from the slow chewing and sobs choking the confused lad up. “I’m sorry Louis I didn’t mean to upset you c-can...can you please open up.” 

Louis couldn’t take it any longer hearing Harry’s cry and spit up on the food he was chocking on while trying to talk with a mouth full, begging for him to let him in and that he was sorry. It wasn’t even Harry’s fault. It was all Louis’. Louis had must of made Harry feel he could let someone else take advantage of him the way Zayn did, instead of coming to him. Louis was the selfish one, the one who let his boyfriend the man he cared about so much hurt the way he is. 

Louis opened the door and almost wished he didn’t when he saw Harry sitting criss crossed with a half of sandwich in his mouth, mid chew while the tears fell from his eyes soaking the bread. 

“C’mere babe, get up I’m so sorry.” Louis helped raise Harry from under his arms, the sandwich falling to the floor and Louis didn’t even bother to mention it. He walked with Harry over to the bed and snuggled them both into the sheets, fully dressed and all. Spooning Harry and burying his nose into the back of his neck, finding the same relief he was with the pillow. 

A few moments of silences passed with the suppressing of sniffles and drying tears when Harry spoke. 

“Did I upset you just from touching me?” 

Louis felt like falling apart all over again. 

“No!” Louis held on tighter, as tight as he could before he felt like he was hurting the small body. “Harry, I just felt like a failure love. I want to help you and I feel like I’m not, and having that happened after Zayn threatened to fire me I-I just, I don’t know how to feel right now. I’m so sorry.” 

Harry reversed in Louis arms, turning to face him. 

“You are not a failure Louis. Without you, I’d be dead probably and none of this is your fault. Do you hear me?” The strength in Harry’s tone made Louis solidify. “And what do you mean by threaten to fire you- that filthy bastard” 

“He just said my work has been uncreative, that I’m weak in the company and if I don’t ace this assignment he’s giving me tomorrow then I’m fired.” Louis felt just as weak as Zayn described him as. 

“Quit or resign then, don’t let him do this to you baby.” Harry nosed at Louis forehead placing a small kiss to the middle. “You do not deserve being harassed like that, and if he looses you he’ll realise what a twat he is and that he made the biggest mistake ever Lou. You are so talented it’s scary and you will find another job in a heart beat. 

“Harry I can’t afford to do that.” 

“I can afford for you too Louis, and I know you feel like it’s charity but that’s a load of shit baby. You take care me right? Even though deep down I feel sometimes you would have to be blind to not be disgusted by me- you help me and take care of me in the ways I need. Now go in there and resign and tell Zayn to piss off. I love you Lou, so much.” This time Harry’s words were powerful but his tone was fragile. 

Louis was not in any way sure on how to respond or how to even function as a proper human being at the time, so he just nodded to Harry and curled into him, letting the gentle fingers dip into his hair and soothe away the mental pain. Tomorrow would come, and decisions would be made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ♥ xx


	10. From this, to That

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 10 ! xx 
> 
> Hope you all enjoy it! 
> 
> Let me know ?   
> ♥

He was going to do it. Today was the day where Louis Tomlinson was going to walk into the office and resign, leaving Zayn. But- also leaving the company? And, leaving what he loved? 

Louis has battled with himself all night and all throughout getting ready for his morning on whether to leave the company or to stay working under Zayn. He had asked if Harry would be interested in going to the police to file a case against Zayn’s abuse, however, Harry insisted it was far to long ago in a legal stance and no one would believe him.   
It tore Louis knowing that _he was probably right_. No one would believe Harry? There was no evidence and the whole case would end disappointedly in a ‘he said, he said’ match. There must have been a whole row of people in Harry’s situation, left without any one to believe them, to just have to move on and learn to cope with what had happened- all because the word of truth was not strong enough to pull through. It disgusted Louis, and he knew that despite how much he wanted to refuse Harry’s offer to help pay a little more than his usual half, he knew it was the right thing to do. The only thing he could do that he felt was right. Yeah, finding a new job would probably be difficult yet it would make things better in the long haul. 

“Good luck today, I’m so proud of you.” Harry placed a chaste but soothing kiss to Louis’ lips before he had to head off to uni for the day himself. 

The ride in was short, and Louis kept finding himself replaying Zayn’s threat of subpar work that needed fixing or he was going to cut Louis off. 

Louis was doing the right thing, he was leaving before Zayn could harm either of them anymore. It was just the fact that it felt as though Zayn was winning. He had gone and defiled Harry, right under his so called best friends nose, and what were his consequences of the rotten act? Nothing. Zayn only had a himself a small pity party for when he was afraid something would have arouse from his actions but he realised that nothing would, and he could go to work again and destroy Louis. 

How’d this fall into play in such a way? 

Tucking in his top and giving himself one last good look in the company toilet mirror, Louis straightened up and walked toward the inevitable end. The fluorescent lights were burning brightly against the white and grey muted walls that the slight pain searing in Louis’ eyes were causing him to squint down the hall. 

After just one knock to the glass door, Louis was called into the supervisory office. Zayn turned around and when he caught sight to who was standing across from his black polished desk he pursed his lips out in the most smug manner that Louis felt the heat within his veins boil over. 

“What can I do you for this fine morning Louis?” Zayn teased placing his feet casually up on to the fiber glassed desk top, moving aside some papers with his heel. 

“I’m done Zayn.” Louis pulled his shaking hands from without his trouser pockets and placed them crossed defensively over his chest. The last thing he wanted was to come off as scared in front of the monster. He held his head high, and forced with all he had to stop the unwanted jitters from his form. 

“You have to be kidding me Louis, are you really such a fool?” Zayn recoiled from his relaxed posture and stood up facing across Louis. “You have got to be joking, you will never see such a position again in your career!” 

Louis knew that he was probably right. How would he see such a position ever again, he was uneducated, and Zayn was the only reason Louis was where he was. Despite the talent he held naturally it wasn’t enough now-a-days to get him into a higher up design centered field. He was going to have to lower his standards and find another sort of job. Something that would hold none of his passion and cause undeniable stress.    
“Why does it matter Zayn, you can find another illustrator to fiddle with your marketing sectors. One whose partner you hopefully will not abuse. I can never look at you again Zayn. You’re disgusting.” Casting his eyesight right into Zayn’s almost onyx iris’ at the moment, before clicking his tongue and turning around.”I’ll be heading down to HR to complete my resignation, may karma find you Malik.” With that Louis exited from the room and down to the personnel office to finally rid this place. 

It was only a short time after that when Louis found himself with a cliché box in hand walking up the stairs to his flat. Unemployed and insecure. It was the right thing to do. It wouldn’t be fair to Harry if he knew Louis was going to stay working under Zayn just to keep his title, one day something would happened to Zayn were he would be lost, and helpless and no one will be there to help him. 

At least that’s what Louis says to calm himself, after he feels disgusted by how there is nothing he can do to serve Zayn proper justice. For now Harry was his focus, alongside finding another job.

Louis found himself distraught and caught off guard when he was being shuck awake by thin feeble fingers.

“Relax love it’s just me.” Harry cooed at Louis who was still unnerved about not remembering when he had fallen asleep. 

“What time is it?” 

“About Seven, had come home around an hour ago but I couldn’t bring myself to wake you, you looked so peaceful sleeping all disorientated on the sofa and such.” Harry chuckled at his pitiful humour. 

Seven? Bloody Seven! The last time Louis had gone and looked at the time it had read 2:30. He must've not noticed how exhausted he actually was. 

“Alright, well that was unplanned but how about some food?” Louis stood up and tried to approach Harry lightly, pulling the taller lad close to him and wrapping his hands right above Harry’s small bum. 

“I already ate Lou.” Harry must have seen how Louis’ mood had shifted when he untangled from around him. 

Rubbing the skin behind his brows up and down, tugging over his eyes with both hands, Louis gritted his teeth together in order to keep some sort of composure. 

Looking up at Harry with all seriousness he as sweetly as possible spoke. 

“Harry...Sweetheart, you really ought to stop doing that- not that I don’t trust you, it’s just given the circumstances It would really put me at ease if you were to eat dinner with me.” 

Harry tilted sidewards, and bit his bottom lip between his teeth for only a moment before he was pushing it right back out and narrowing his eyes down at Louis. 

“And, it would put me at ease Louis if you could put some trust into me!” 

Louis had obviously offended Harry but it was just with the honest truth. He was worried, and it’s not like Harry hasn’t lied in the past about eating to better manage himself and faking Louis. 

“You’re right, absolutely right.” Louis started off with a little more bitterness sweating out but calm enough in total with his tone. “However, you have lied to me in the past Harry and I don’t see why you can’t just eat with me so we don’t have to argue about it?” 

“I don’t see why you are not trusting me.”

“Did you not just listen? You’ve lied to me Harry, and lies about skipping lunch or dinner well they are rather departmental to your health now, aren't they!” Louis was fuming, and given another day where he hadn’t just resigned from his job- ending any sort of career path in that field; well maybe he wouldn’t have blown up so fast. 

“Louis, I have already ate. End of conversation.” Harry swiveled around walking past Louis and sitting himself indigently right down in front of the television, mindlessly focusing on to whatever program was on to ignore Louis. 

Walking over and standing right in front of the flat screen Louis turned the object off and stared at Harry who was now openly wearing a disgusted face. Louis just watched for a few seconds before smiling rather sarcastically over at Harry, keeping his voice cool before spitting out, “End of conversation? Who do you think you are talking to here?” 

“A brick wall apparently.” 

“Harry! This is not a god damned joke?” Louis was raising his opened palm up near his head in pure aggravation before breathing in to continue. “What did you eat Harry, if you’re not lying- what the fuck did you eat, and where, and when, and with bloody who!?” 

Harry’s already large eyes, were seeming to bug out a little more, wiping the cocky right out of his demeanor. 

“I am not a child!” Standing up and stomping right over in front of Louis, for which he was sure to be as an intimidation factor given the hight difference. Louis wasn’t having any of it though. He stepped one foot length closer. 

“You’re acting like one Harry. You are making this so much more difficult then it needs to be. You know eating away is fine but for big meals I’m worried, you need to get yourself back and healthy babe. I don’t want to fight and talk down to you because, really, where is that going to get us?” 

Harry was still just looming up over him, staying silent. 

“It’s getting us right where we are now. Screaming back and forth.” 

Appearing as to realise what Louis was trying to get out Harry bent his head down, squeaking out a tiny ‘bagel.’ 

“You ate a bagel, when?” Louis reached up to tip Harry’s chin back to where it should be, he most certainly did not want to make him feel ashamed! He just wanted him to be better, and he was overall. Just when Harry some days became resilient to cooperation Louis was unable to approach in an effective way. 

“Before my last class, around four.” 

“Well that’s all you needed to-” 

“It was half a bagel with nothing on it. I need to eat. I’m sorry.” Harry quickly shuffled into the kitchen away from Louis. 

Just standing in the wide threshold, Louis just stood there watching at how painful it looked for Harry to find something to eat. He walked back and forth between the pantry and the refrigerator half a dozen times before settling on eggs and toast. 

“Are you feeling breakfast-y?” Louis tried lightheartedly. “Do you want any help with that?” 

“No thanks Lou.” reaching for the frying pan that was hung high up above the center island, where Louis would normal need a stool to get too, Harry just stretched and tip toed to reach it. “Would you like some or I can make you something different?” 

Louis could tell he was sad for probably what had just gone on between them, yet he didn’t want Harry to be feeling like this while he was eating. It was probably stupid but he wanted Harry to have a good mood as a positive reinforcement while getting ready to eat.   
“No, that sounds perfect.” 

“Okay.”

Harry started cracking the eggs down into the ‘non stick pan’ so he wasn’t placing extra butter within it to keep the eggs from sticking. Harry moved around the kitchen like it was so natural, and cooking was one of his strong points, and it crushed Louis to know his boyfriend has such a hardship with something he was very skillful at. Before any of this was going on and probably even during the early stages of it before Louis had caught on, Harry used to be so passionate about cooking. Making and trying many different recipes and having fun with trial and error. Now though, he just seemed robotic and simplistic. 

Shortly there was plate of two eggs and a piece of toast being placed down in front of Louis. Harry had the same amount of food which surprised him. 

“I’m going to eat it all.” Harry mumbled while he forked a bite of egg into his mouth. 

“That’s brilliant babe, I know you are.” 

The conversation was quiet in the beginning but soon Louis had Harry fairly happily talking about his day of classes and what had happened with him early in the day at work. 

“That’s a shame about your job baby, but I know you will get another.” Harry was placing one of the last bites of his toast into his mouth and Louis didn’t have the heart to negatively bring up that he would probably never have such job again. 

“Hopefully, sooner rather then later.” He mused. 

When the last of Harry and his meals were finished Louis washed the dishes and Harry dried and placed them away. It felt good. It was one of the many domestic things they had done when first moving in together up until such chaos had them all topsy-turvy. 

With soap still covering his hands and the mid of his stomach damp with dish water Harry grabbed Louis and placed a not so innocent kiss to his lips. Nibbling briefly before kissing his way into Louis mouth. With a multitask at hand Harry kept his tongue with Louis’ as long as he could manage before he was pulling the wet shirt up and off of Louis’ frame- hands quickly dodging downward for his zip. 

It was a mess of limbs tugging and freeing the other of his clothes before the two were completely bare and pressed impressively close. Grinding down into each others groins was making their posture almost painful only moving to give the other some space to let their erections move. Louis was bending forward to suck eagerly at Harry’s prominent nipple, toying the other between his fingers. Louis removed his mouth from sucking at the nipple to drop down to his knees and grab Harry’s cock between his hand, giving the length a teasing squeeze. The huskiest of moans left from Harry’s throat up above and Louis knew he needed his mouth. 

So he obliged, taking the hot tip into his mouth, first giving it an experimentally hard suck before gradually making his way down Harry’s shaft. With his hands stroking up and down his hips and arse, Louis couldn’t help himself from pulling off Harry and sending his three fingers pointedly upward and telling Harry to ‘suck ‘em’, before placing his mouth right back to where it was. Harry did as he was asked and sucked Louis’ fingers into his mouth the best he could, spit accidentally falling out from around the corners and dripping down on to his own chest. 

Louis pulled his fingers from the lips and brought them quickly down to Harry’s crack, sliding them in with the least amount of saliva wiping off as he spread Harry and circled around his hole. Harry was beginning to buckled from all the sensation and his grip on the counter top was tightening. Louis was pushing in the second finger, searching up for the spot he knew he needed to hit before soon Harry was spraying off into Louis throat. 

Louis did his best to keep all Harry’s cum in his mouth before loosing only a little due to the unexpected climax. With one last thrust with his fingers, leaving Harry mewling weakly, he took them out and stood up. 

After just a moment of laboured breathing Harry was reaching down for Louis cock, which was dying for release. Harry was to spent still from his own orgasm to do much more then give Louis what he hoped to be a good tug, spitting in his palm to help lubricate the process. Louis was already so turned on from getting Harry off that, the long fingers pulling him in to a release did not take long at all. 

Sweaty and now comfortably laying in the crook of Harry’s shoulder, offhandedly rubbing at his own tummy Louis was getting ready to fall asleep, when Harry turned causing him to fall to the pillows. Thinking it was just to get comfortable Louis wrapped his hand around Harry's waist and pulled him in to body. 

“Dinner with my parents Lou?”

Louis flung his eyelids open and looked straight over to Harry. _Dinner with his parents?_ God, no. Why? Harry’s parents were the least fond of Louis and his lower class lifestyle. Were they at a point where they were civil to each other on the rare occasions they needed to be near one another, yes- but going to have dinner with his folks was not what Louis called a good time?

“Why- ... I mean when?” Louis was going to just suck it up, if Harry wanted to have a meal with him and his parents then so be it. 

“Friday night, I know it’s probably the last thing you would like to do but it would mean a lot to me and I may have accidentally slipped with telling my mum this afternoon while I was on the phone with her after she had already invited us, about your job. They just want a dinner with us, and I swear if they even bring up your job or anything like that I will not have it and we can leave.“ Harry was talking ninety and second and Louis had all he could do to comprehend what the lad was getting out. 

“Ohhhh, Harry why’d you mention that?” Louis groaned down into the sheets. 

“I know! It was pure mistake, but will you come?” Harry kissed at the back of Louis head to get him to face up right. 

“Yes, but you’ll owe me.” It was said jokingly but Harry was promptly agreeing that he would. 

It was going to be a short lived week until Friday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> xx ♥ thanks for reading!


	11. For Us.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 11 ♥
> 
> Very filler, sorry to do that but the story must go on~   
> okayyy, xx
> 
> THANK YOU FOR READING IT MEANS THE WORLD, AND FEED BACK IS ALWAYS APPRECIATED ♥

Walking hand in hand with Harry, sweat building in the creases of his palm, Louis was beginning to go mad at the realisation that he was about to be forced to smile politely and nod along to whatever ridiculous rubbish would be pouring out of Harry’s fathers mouth. Thankfully enough, the two couples were meeting at a far too ritzy restaurant in the busy of London. Louis could only feel a bit better about the gas it took to arrive there, since his meal bill was sure to be taken care for. 

Upon entering up through the small but grand stair case that lead into the lobby, Louis along with Harry were eye’d begrudgingly by the stiff hostess before being asked for the reservation name. 

“Styles.” Harry chirped sweetly, giving the woman with the far too tightly held back pony tail, the loveliest of grins. Sparing everyone insight of him those adorable dimples. 

While she skimmed down the page in front of her on the the dark wooden podium, Louis couldn’t help but admire how fit Harry was looking. Dressed poshly as though he was right to almost fit in with the men in their overdressed tuxedos. Harry was clad in a shapely navy blazer that buttoned right on his middle, covering over a pale blue button down. The dark grey trousers he was fitted in were loose in a classy yet casual way. Harry was gorgeous, there was not doubt to that, and the lad has always had thin legs but Louis was for sure the trousers his love was wearing were most definitely much more snug on his thighs and calfs in the past, then they were now. Harry was covering himself well. 

Soon enough they were being ushered into the dinning room, with all the brilliant chandeliers, and square tables filling over the floors. The decor was modern, and Louis was amazed at how the ages ranged from decently young, all the way to very elderly. From a distance Louis could see Harry’s parents already seated, and drinking wine from their crystal glasses. This place was not one where Louis would be served free bread and dip, this place made him feel worthless. Harry must have caught on to Louis’ soured mood right before they were going to approach the table to have a seat, because his long fingers tapped small loving circles into the small of his back, before they each sat down. 

The hostess made promises of a waiter to be there shortly to take the party’s order. 

“Mum, Dad. Thanks for inviting us out” Harry had again the beautiful smile spread across his face but the greeting was so formal it made Louis’ toes curl within his shoes. 

“Oh, Dear you know it’s not a problem. Especially since we don’t get to see that much of you anymore these day’s.” Anne, Harry’s mother reached her diamond adorned wrist out to rub lightly at Harry’s arm. 

“So Louis, how are you doing?” Anne, swirls her wine gently in circular motions before taking a lengthy sip. 

Louis feels the warm security of Harry’s hand on his knee from underneath the table, its small and going unseen by the others, but it helps remind him just who he is doing this for. Casually Louis lowers his own hand from atop the table and places it on Harry’s and does a reassuring squeeze of ‘it’s not too bad.’ 

“I’m doing well, getting by. Thanks for asking, how are you two doing?” The sweetness is sickly in his tone. 

“Getting by is going to be a little tougher eh Louis?” Harry’s father slides up a sideward smile, and all Louis wants to do is smack the smug bastards expression right off his face. 

“Dad!” Harry pipes up quickly to what Louis assumes is in his defense. 

“Boys!” Anne harshly whispers in reprimands to quiet down any preconceived arguments. 

“What? It’s just talk Harry, your mother told me of Louis’ loss of job.” The way Harry’s eyes meet with his fathers from across the table is lethal, but the man doesn’t stop. Doesn’t take in the silent warning to drop the topic at hand. 

“I’ll get by.” Is all Louis says, knowing if he goes to far it would end rather ugly. 

“Do you plan on finding new employment?” 

“Obviously he does Dad, now lets switch the subject.” Harry’s hand is again around the curve of Louis’ knee this time with a little more strength behind the touch. 

“Where Louis? I understand we can help Harry pay a little more rent but since he is so sure to live with you, it’s a little unsettling to watch him have to do such a favour so early in your two’s, erm...relationship.” 

“Dad!” and Louis venomous “Excuse me?” Are spoken simultaneously but stay unresolved as the waiter finally approaches the table. 

While Harry’s parents are having small prissy banter with the waiter, Louis looks over at Harry and he is already met with a pair of desperate eyes. 

“I can’t do this, you are all the welcome to stay here with them but I am leaving.” Louis’ cross and he has no intentions of giving in on this. 

“No, please Lou. I know I said I would have non of that and I meant it but-”

“But, nothing Harry. I’m not going to have them disrespect me all the while they are going to be paying for my meal. It’s embarrassing.” Louis tilts his head to wait for Harry to respond and it takes him a second and right as he’s to open his mouth the waiter is asking Harry for his dish.

“I-I, well I’m.” Harry is getting anxious Louis can tell, and honestly it’s the last thing he wants for him to feel but Harry indeed did promise to not have his parents belittle Louis, but there they were and Harry wanted to stay. 

“C’mon Harry buck up.” His father is throwing a meaty hand in Harry’s fragile direction. 

He’s beginning to shake and tap his foot down incessantly and Louis has to stand up to stop this. 

“I don’t think Harry’s feeling well, and we should be off.” Louis starts to stand but Harry reaches up and taps his elbow for him to stay sitting. 

Anne looks over in what seems like pure concern but you’d never know for sure with her. 

“Harry, love are you okay?” 

“I’m, well?” Harry darts his eyes back and forth, “How dare you talk to him like that, like some entitled snobs, he’s my partner and...and I’m ashamed of you right now.” 

Harry stands up and doesn’t even look behind him when his mother cries out for him to sit back down and stop the scene he’s making but all Louis does is grimace at her and follow after his boyfriend...his _partner_. He knows that was probably hard for him to do, and legitimately scary. It truly showed just how much Harry cared for Louis. The damned people were Harry’s source of income as of now, and he could be cut off- Louis just hopes that it wouldn’t be over such a small argument...especially one revolving himself. 

They walk to the car without interlacing their fingers, a far opposite of how they had entered the restaurant. Once the doors are shut and Louis has the key turned in the ignition, he looks over at Harry and how there are flooding in his ducts, and the rim around his lashes has already reddened even before the first tears have fell.

“I’m so sorry babe, I really-” Louis starts, to be unclearly interrupted by the now sobbing Harry.

“Don’t be sorry Lou! I-I’m so sorry, th-that they treated you so horridly. It was awful and I should have stood up and left the minute you were uncomfortable.” His words were rushed and it was making it terribly hard to understand his usual slow deep drawl in change for the raspy high speed race of an apology. 

Louis doesn’t care that its dark and the street is only lit by the passing car and few road lights, he pulls off into a lay-by and locks the door. Pushing up the center arm rest, reaches and pulls Harry over into his embrace. Soothing small ‘shh’s, it’s going to be okay.’ Or ‘Breathe for me love, you stood up for me, for us and that means so much.’ Each followed by the meaningful ‘I love you.’ All the endearments Louis is soaking into the top styled curls of Harry’s head are complete honest truth. 

A few minutes pass and Harry’s sobs simmer down to small whimpers and Louis just kisses from his temples to his mouth before telling him he’s going to get them home to rest. 

Louis know’s Harry is upset and eating is probably the last thing on his mind, but he hadn’t ate dinner at the restaurant, so when the two walk into their flat Louis wrapped his arms behind Harry’s waist and sauntered him into the kitchen. Hearing the outward sigh falling from his quivering lips. 

“I know love. It is probably not what you feel like doing but just do me a favour and eat something with me.” Louis know’s he’s not supposed to approach the food like it’s a task, something that will take and cause pain to Harry but he need to get some food in him and he wasn’t in for mucking around. 

“There is some leftover takeaway from yesterday still in the fridge is that okay?” and it was like music to Louis’ ears. 

“Of course babe, that’s perfect.” 

Louis heats up the meals and places a normal amount on both their plates, not in for tricking Harry to eat more or to fight with him about portion control. It was like a miracle had taken some mercy on him, Louis watched as Harry ate the majority of his rice and all of the veggie curry Louis had placed down for him.   
After the two had showered and prepared themselves for a film on the sofa, Louis laid himself across in a way that if he were to fall asleep with Harry curled on top of him he wouldn’t wake with shooting pains in his neck and arse. 

About half way through the film, Harry’s eyes were closed while he laid his head over Louis’ chest, having opted to hear his heart to help soothe him to sleep. It was something that had thrown Louis off when the two had first became comfortable enough to cuddle close and share small personal moments together. Louis was one of the few who was not comforted by hearing someones heart beat in the irrational fear of hearing its last beat before silence. However, Harry loved it. Loved hearing Louis’ heart when he was going to sleep, listening to the steady rhythm, like how some calm to the sounds of the rain. He loved it when they were intimate and he could hear it speed up and beat all out of control, watching it cause the body to react and heat Louis’ skin up without him even aware of it. Knowing that it was his heart bringing Harry to a peace, it calmed Louis down plenty to be able to fall asleep right there on the sofa, pressed so close to Harry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let me know bbys.  
> comments? kudos?   
> xx

**Author's Note:**

> rIGHT? Well hope ya liked it?


End file.
